30 November 2009

27 November 2009

Suck it up princess

Learn to read and get over it

24 November 2009

Barf-O-Rama Wednesday

Gordie: ...the main guy of the story is a fat kid that nobody likes named Davie Hogan.
Vern: Like Charlie Hogan's brother. If he had one.
Chris: Good Vern. Go on, Gordie.
Gordie: Well this kid is our age but he's fat. Real fat. He weighs close to one-eighty. But you know, it's not his fault. It's his glands.
Vern: Oh yeah, my cousin's like that, sincerely. She weighs over three hundred pounds! Supposed to be Hyboid Gland or something. Well, I don't know about any Hyboid Glands, but what a blimp! No shit. She looks like a Thanksgiving turkey. And you know this one time...
Chris: Shut up, Vern.
Vern: Yeah, yeah, right. Go on, Gordie, it's a swell story.
If you know the story, you have the key to unlock B Grade success tomorrow night.


23 November 2009

only 36 hours until relief and redemption

The DOMinator only has 36 hours of the shit slinging remaining.
We then enter the 'Day of Love', where peace and redemption can be achieved.
I am sure he will be wiser in the 4th round.........no, I really really believe that!

22 November 2009

Johnny Drama says "It's ok to be dorky...and a little bit gay"




Just remember, when nobody else loves you, that loving yourself is the most important love....if you know what I mean :-) LOL

I also say it's cool to put zip ties in your helmet and leave them there all year for those pesky magpies you Ozzies have.  Hey they're just like Viking horns....Cool.  LOL :-)

20 November 2009

Customs seize fake Colnago frames, disrupt major smuggling ring


Customs officers in Perth have seized counterfeit Colnago frames with an estimated street value of more than $10 million.
The fake Colnago frames were sent via post from China in eight different consignments over the past four months. All were addressed to a certain address in Yarralumla, you know.
The frames, which are painted in traditional Colnago colours and look like carbon fibre but are actually made from lead.
The Customs Minister says the importers could face civil action from the Colnago company but they have given an undertaking to stop importing the goods. Law enformcement agencies are currently holding a balding and whimpering Yarralumla man, with a sniffle, and expect to lay charges later today.

17 November 2009

Welcome to 'Clap Wednesday'

The 'Clap' is a terrible disease, originally started by unholy people. Let's stamp out this scourge on society. Support 'Clap Wednesday' by getting your Green Ribbon and wearing it with pride.
Team QUON says NO to the Clap.

Ssshhhhhhh


Todays Life Lesson




Some people like peaches.

Some people like cream.

But when you order peaches & cream, and you get tinned apricots and long-life custard from a tetra-pak, you should ask for your $300 back.

The Day of Love (TM)


Wednesday's in QUON folklore is deemed to be 'The Day of Love (TM)'.

The QUON Master has decreed that the Day of Love (TM) should come a day early this week.

Team QUON wishes our surprisingly big blog audience a wonderful 2 days of love.

We will obviously still spank your asses in the crit tomorrow, as we usually do - but with some extra love this week.


QM

13 November 2009

Do I Look Too Gay In This?



Yes - yes you do. Nothing screams HIV more than a tall skinny man mincing around on roller skis! What next, bloody recumbants?

12 November 2009

New entry into the Book of Shadows - Bird Flu

This is the difference between........ I am cool at work, and I have to muscle up and ride my balls out at Quonlo.
Next time you clean your teeth, have a good hard look at what's looking back at you!

10 November 2009

Miss Manners


Boys, when I was at at school Miss Manners took me aside and told me that good manners cost nothing. She also did a few other unmentionable things to me, and very soon was no longer at the school. But that is another story. This brings me on to the subject of crits.

It is good manners to let your fellow teammates know if you are unable to race at that weeks crit. You committed to race crits so pull your finger out and get there or have a damn good excuse.

From this week you will be fined if you fail to send an email to the Dribble explaining why you cannot turn up. Don't just tell someone to tell someone else because you are too scared, like a freakin little 3rd grader. I don't care if you have to make 3000 donuts, or lay a slab, or play first trumpet in a travelling band. As long as you let us know.

Fail to heed these words and you will be named and shamed from this week onwards.

That is all.

09 November 2009

Liverpool Hospital. The QUONs home away from home.


In breaking news Team QUON has announced that it has secured the site for it's interstate headquarters. This new facility will allow for its members to rest up after mountain bike events so that they can be at their peak for the grueling season of up coming summer races.

NSW Ambulance Service has won the contract to provide direct flights for team members after events held around the Wingello State Forrest as part of a new sponsorship arrangements.


OH DEAR

Anyone wanna buy a Giant mountain bike?

06 November 2009

Happy Birthday SPUD!

Hope you loved your early morning surprise!
Kisses xxx
Steve

04 November 2009

Oohhh to be like SchmickoB


Seated this week, one legged next!

03 November 2009

the DEAN JONES SCANDAL

Not since Dean Jones' Australian cricket Boards contact was stamped "NEVER TO TOUR AGAIN" has Australian seen the despicable act of shunning one if its great sportsman.
This weeks announcement of the QUON's Teams and respective grade captains will forever been known as the DEAN JONES SCANDAL, and will always been seen as a black mark that the QUON will have to bare.

Scottyrocks has refused to comment on his demotion from Capatin. I am unaware whether he was given the respectful tap on the shoulder or not, but the founder and leader of some of the greatest leadout trains in history and most successful team captain since the inception of Team QUON did not feature with a (c) behind his name when the teams were announced yesterday.

In opposing corners, Jason Pye, Randwick and Simon Johnston, with 6 races between them in the 2008/2009 season have been shown more faith and support by the Elders. And not since the ginga superstar was promoted to captain of the mighty Hawks has a leap of faith been demonstrated.

Elders.....please explain!