Here is my poem

Now, can someone shut Preston up!
He is shitting me to tears!
Greggo (the man with the donuts)

Mirror, mirror on the wall. Who's the Angriest Ginga of them all?

The staff and patrons of Cafe Quon were left in  no doubt as to just who is the angriest ginga of them all yesterday. Buck up princess, dry  your eyes and grab a wheel next time!

When words are not enough...

BigDog's bluff has been called! The QUON's own Attorney-General has himself challenged the keyboard nazi to a mano-a-mano duel of pugilism that has set thrills of anticipation rippling through the QUON.

Spud, known in boxing circles as the 'Punch from the Bunch' is sick to death of the rubbish that BigDog fills everyone's inboxes with, and, frustrated with the powerless and limited rules of the dribble has decided to teach BigDog a lesson that he won't forget.

Early reports from within QUON Eldership have tipped this as a true 'David and Goliath' battle of biblical proportions, with a few unnamed elders tipping 'David' to once again topple 'Goliath'.

Indeed Spud has been quoted during a cross-training session this week as believing that BigDog's previous bout with ScottyRocks QOAM was nothing more than a fluke win for BigDog.

"I've seen the footage" stated Spud as he put down his skipping rope. "ScottyRocks had it all under control. BigDog was unfit, slow and behind on points. It was only a lucky punch when ScottyRocks was distracted by the ladies in the audience that saved BigDog from a complete and utter thrashing."

In a menacing tone Spud continued; "I'm not stepping in that ring to entertain people. BigDog won't receive an ounce of restraint from me. He flaunts the rules of the dribble and laughs in the face of QUON authority. He won't be laughing when I'm finished with him. BigDog should be afraid - I'm so fast I turn off the light and am in bed before its dark. I float like a butterfly and sting like a bee. I'm not the greatest boxer the QUON has ever seen, I'm the double greatest. Not only will I knock him out, I'll pick the round - The only round. Round one.

The QUON has a new enforcer. BigDog is going down."

Ladies and Gentlemen, it appears in this case that the Attorney-General is prepared to put down his copy of the QUONstitution and solve this problem the old fashioned way. A time and date of the bout are yet to be set.

Big Thank-you to Bigdog

After leaving the Giro d'Italia after Stage 13, Mark Cavendish announced the real reason why. There was speculation that the three time stage winner of Team Columbia Highroad had done his job in the sprint stages and was resting up in preparation for the Tour deFrance in early July. However cyclingnews.com announced today the real reason for the Isle of Man riders early departure. Cavendish was quoted as saying today,

"I know that Bigdogs wife was up all night ironing on the transfer for my new T-Shirt so I had to make a bee line for Canberra and thank her and Bigdog in person".

Sources close to the Big Dog can confirm that the household had infact spent numerous sleepless night preparing the T-shirts for production. This would have put 'Cav's' T-shirts, and the effort involved in creating them, right up there on the same scale as when Bigdog tendered and won the job for supplying Team QUON with their T-shirts.

Yet again another selfless act from Bigdog.

Quonabee "Chihuahua" Greg

There was a lot of talk about the Quonabee's this week. Whilst one ponied up and presented at The Ghost Shop at 7.30, the other was nowhere to be seen. Is this a case of "all bark and no bite"?

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Br Chihuahua.

Introducing the Twins

Labeled as one of the greatest Shambles ever, this mornings ride saw the introduction of QUONabee 2 to the Group.

QUONabee 2, otherwise known as Paddy Chivers, made an impressive impact on the bunch at the coffee shop by ordering three rums on ice straight up.

The only issue the riders had was how they were going to tell Paddy and Smuppy apart?

What new sponsor??

With the increased interest Team QUON are receiving after announcing the re-designing of their team uniforms, sponsorship coordinator Ian 'Hats Off' Mongan is in the process of signing deals left, right and centre. The deals are ranging from new bikes, new coffee shop locations, new uniforms, new sun glasses and even new helmets.

However not all of Team QUON's members are convinced that we in fact need new helmets. Mark Terracini, creator of one of the QUON's signature rides (the HOT), was heard saying this morning,
"There is nothing wrong with the helmets we have already, they look OK"

Mongo has his work cut out for him.

Dodger chokes on too much 'Rad's Nads'

A formerly undiagnosed symptom of excessive use of 'Rad's Nads' reared its ugly head on Thursday in Italy. While pundits, spectators and team management were quietly hoping for a win, Dodger was unfortunately only able to manage 14th on the stage.

Blame was placed firmly on the chamois product known as 'Rad's Nads'. Instead of his usual palmful of the goop, it was reported by perezhilton.com that Dodger double dipped.

The very dangerous symptom of double dipping made it difficult for the rider to breathe during the stage, indeed the condition was described as feeling like someone was choking you with their hand.

As Dodger rolled across the finish line in Riomaggiore, he was heard to gasp 'Too much Rad's, too much Rad's Nads.'

Users of this product beware - keep your daily quantity reasonable or you too risk experiencing this choking sensation.

The Mincer not Mincing His Words
Steve the mincer could do nothing more than 'turn his back' on Team QUON this morning. He was heard to be saying quietly to himself
"Where is the one they call 'Vinney'. I make a special effort to get to the coffee shop and he has not been here lately. Where are you Vinney, come back soon."
Sources close to Team QUON have confirmed that Br Vinney has a bad case of the sniffles and is resting up in bed. Paul Smith QMe has offered to support Vinney through this time of need and is said to be visiting him on a regular basis. The mincer refused to comment on Br Vinney's condition but is thought to be in a state of depression.

over 4 months until the next day of love

........but until then, lets continue to have some fun!

another QUONabee

Yes my friends, you have seen me before. I am the one who smacked all of your lazy arses at this years Poker Run at Prestontown; 2 pair/ace high.

And I will smash you all this weekend as well at your shambles, when I show you all what a man with a little dick and great tan can do.

I love funny hats and Garfield comics, I think 4 cylinder cars are for females only, and am a firm believer that Princess Diana was murdered.

I drink rum, like getting nude with my mates and have alot of dick tricks in my drunken state. My favourite colour is blue, and I will look awesome in the QUON kit.

Thank you for this opportunity.

Kind regards,

Patty Chivers

G'day Boys

My name is Greggo.
I know alot of you from the old Trident Days, and being a poof, I went to Marist, so I know a few more of you alittle bit closer.
I fall off my bike alot, so I think I will be a good fit for the QUON.
I make donuts for a living and I can fit 4 on.
How many can you do?
Greggo

Ginger Meadows - Land Release

Ginger Meadows - The World’s first Ginger Housing Estate

Be amongst your own kind in a safe environment, nestled between the Australian Defence College and the AFP complex. Close to a weird religious sect, and a school for misfits.

Only a crow’s fart from QUONlo.

Br Zany, please explain.

Introducing QUONABEE No2 - LITESPEED DAVE

Greetings QUON, My name is Litespeed Dave and I am desperate to be a QUONABEE in 09.

My idol Paul Smith, the quickest QUONer ever at Ironman and QMe has promised to nominate me.

This is a photo of me racing the Hawaii Ironman. Did I look the goods or what?

Litespeed Dave

I ride a Litespeed, do you ride a Litespeed.

Apology

In true Matty Johns fashion I apologies whole heartly for my actions in relation to fine paying and one Andrew Terracini. During the night in question I not only hurt myself but disgraced my family and friends. Although the follow may explain it does not excuse.

Shortly after arriving at the QEOS function, I was inundated with cash from various people to cover the nights festivities. One of those people were Andrew Terracini, he mentioned to me that there was money included for a fine. Not knowing the fine situation and who owed what I accepted the money.

When the name and shame email went out and Trumpet replied saying he had paid me, I did not look at the amount so just confirmed that he had paid the amount. As I now understand it the amount tendered on the said night was not the full amount oweing.

Again I apologies and please be aware that I have a crisis meeting set up this afternoon with the QUON elders, after which i will be holding talks with Velo, Culture Club and possibly Vikings?

I may find I am on the free agent list

Regards

Skin and Bones

Is Nathan the new Trumpet?

Just as pink is the new black.
Just as the Gingas were made equal for a season.
It's like new is old, and the old men are cool.

Are we seeing a skinnier version of Trumpet amongst our fold?

"Oh, oh, they paid me at the Quon dinner; honest. No really"

Skin and Bones. An apology is required!

WHO OWES MONEY????

Uniform violations:
Uli - $20
Fireman - $10
Rock - $10
Trumpet - $10 FINE/$10 DONATION
Randwick - $10
Mary - $10

Missed more than 7 races - $10 each
Ubber Ginga
Baby Jesus
Portuguese Man O War
The Bach
House Of
LBF
Outgoing QUON master
Ambo
Mary
Trumpet
Randwick
Rick Springfield
Robbo

Failed to win any coin all year owe $5
Ubber Ginga
Baby Jesus
The Bach
House of
Tandoori
LBF
Trumpet
Rick
Robbo

All money due to MCA by SO1

Message from Rod Tidwell

“The QUON.
Love. Respect. Community. Dollar.
The entire package.
The whole thing, The whole thing.”

The difference between Big Dog and a Has Been

Has–been:
Pronunciation: \haz-bin, -ben, chiefly British -bēn\
Function: noun
Date: 1606
: one that has passed the peak of effectiveness or popularity

BD however, has never been effective or popular.

Congratulations to Michael Phelan and Alexandra Carle

http://www.cycling.org.au/?Page=33766

Team Quon congratulates Michael Phelan and Alexandra Carle on their selection to the Australian Team for the World Junior Road Championships to be held in Moscow in August.

Michael capped a great season with 2nd place (1st Australian) at the recent Australian U/19 Road Championships. It was this result that sealed his selection on the Worlds Team.

If Michael and Alexandra would like help on honing their Vodka sculling techniques for Russia then new QM Paul Smith is more than willing to run some tutorials for them.

Team QUON riders downed in Haycarters Pileup

Tonii and Spud, arguably some of the finest products that Team QUON has to offer, were unfortunately caught up in the 41 rider pileup at Cootamundra on the weekend.

The boys were poised to take the race by the scruff of the neck with 5kms to go, and were just ironing out their tactics for the final run in to town when the fall occurred.

Chief Commissaire Peter Tomlinson was quoted after the race as having just placed a hunge on Spud for finish line honours when the chaos in the 140 rider bunch began. "All eyes were on the flashy Blue kit of team QUON - That Tonii was looking the goods for the lead out, and the name Spud was being thrown around all week among the town folk as the rider to watch."

The local T.V. cameraman riding on his motorcycle managed to capture this exclusive footage of Spud taking a tumble.


Coota T.V. would like to wish all those who were injured a speedy recovery.

Team QUON's night of nights

The red carpet has been rolled out for Team QUON's Rod Tidwell Shield presentation night. The paparazzi has flown in from around the world for the red carpet event, and the girls have fully frocked up.

The spectacle has completely overshadowed the SECRET count for the Rod Tidwell Shield, the QUON's best and fairest award for Crit performances over the past season. We are all in anticipation of who will get their name on the trophy.



It should be a great night, and for those who don't know the details of the gala night, it's because you are not a QUONer.

Baby Jesus Rests After Canberra Tour Explosion

Away in a manger, no crib for his bed, the little Lord Jesus, laid down his sweet head. The stars in the bright sky looked down where he lay, the little Lord Jesus asleep on the hay. The cattle are lowing, the baby awakes, but little Lord Jesus no crying he makes. I love thee, Lord Jesus, look down from the sky, and stay by my side until morning is nigh. Be near me, Lord Jesus; I ask thee to stay, close by me for ever, and love me I pray. Bless all the dear children in thy tender care, and fit us for heaven to live with thee there.

Queens Birthday moved to January

In a copy-cat action, The Queen's mother has decided to move her birthday, (and our holiday) to the 17th of January. After the QM's decision during the week to change the actual birthday of his father, the current head of state was overthrown.
The Queen's mother is hoping that a similar coup will occur by changing the Queens Birthday holiday, and subsequently her ugly and un-co grandson can rule the kingdom - just like smitty.

Her majesty is really unsure how one changes their birthday. The QM's phone number has been passed on, as the Pye family seems to hold the key on how to do this. If any other key dates need changing, please give Jason a call;

1800 got shafted

(not privately listed)

All Hail the New QM - Paul Smith

After last nights Elders voting and the skulling competition; it can be announced that the QUON Master title will be passed to Paul Smith at SOO1 this year.

Paul finished off the year with a flurry of QUON points in brilliant displays of athleticism and drunkenness to claim the title by only 3.5 points from current QM, Piece of Pye. The Baby Jesus on the back of his first Ironman put in a strong showing in the back half of the year to finish third just ahead of the Deputy QM and Rads Nads.

Thanks to all that competed this year. I think we had some very successful new events in the form of the Team Road Race and the Family Triathlon; and some not so successful trips to Wollongong.

Like my neeeegro Tupac says: “It aint nuthin but a gangsta party”

Final Results and table Below:
International Performance of the Year Points:
1st - Paul Smith (for laying down in the year of the ginga and letting a ginga chick beat him overseas and Winning the Canberra International Arboretum Fun Run
2nd - Halvo (consistent performances overseas)
3rd - Angry Ginga (for snagging a Hot International woman and then dumping her)
4th – Baby J – Singapore sling
5th – Ambo – German jaunt
6th – Uber – Hawaii (part one – the meltdown)
7th - Rads – Most travelled
8th – Piece Of – NZ (the DNF club)

Beer Skulling:
1st - Paul Smith
2nd – Rads Nads
3rd – Zany Terra
4th – Scotty Rocks
5th – Marty

Final QWC Ladder:
Smup - 66
Piece Of - 62.5
Baby J - 50
Mouldy -41.5
Rads - 39
Scotty Rocks - 35
Joseph -32
Gagel -28
Skin and Bones -26
Vinne - 25.0
Uber Ginga - 24
Wallet - 20
Doodle -20
Toni -17
Rock - 17
Zany - 17
Ambo - 15
Spud -13
Fireman -12
Poet - 12
Yeti -10
Mary/Gilly -10
Angry Ginga -10
Albert -10
Br Cranky -9
GTE -3
Trumpet -2


THE NEW QM CELEBRATES HIS VICTORY!