25 May 2017

The demise of TQ

We have pinpointed the exact day TQ jumped the shark. It was the 12th of February 2012 and some muppet kicked off the eventual demise of TQ by posting on the blog (if we had one), arguably the gayest photo on the internet at that time.

Team QUON has been in gradual decline ever since.

Gayest picture on the internet, 2012


23 May 2017

Soo1 is nigh...7 sleeps

Remember the 4 important RULLLZZZZ for the evening:

* Cuddles to keep his shirt on
* Flanners to not let his hair down
* Blaster to keep his hands above the table
* Gold coin donations required in to the Milly swear jar, for every swear word or mention of Big Dog, Pastanack, Simmy or Luke Grattan (Carl's brother)

These guys get it, and will be there on the night with bells on:

16 October 2015

Its rides like that I want to puke

When the pace is hard and fast

And the QUONNER out the front goes flat out from the start

But I keep it down saving it for later

When the Vodka bottle handed round

And there’s no way to tame-her

Charles Lundy

05 October 2015

Ode to the water bar, by Raymond Walsch

I can see a water bar a water bar a water bar
I can see a water bar off in the distance.

I approach it with much speed with much speed with much speed
I approach it with much speed with much speed and bulk gusto

Shall I do a tail whip a tail whip a tail whip
Shall I do a tail whip or a massive dead sailor?

O fuck it Ill punch it ill send it ill launch
O fuck it ill punch it ill send it 'real high

Well ill be I'm flying I'm flying I'm flying
Well ill be I'm flying Im 'real fucking high up!

Where shall i land it land it shall i land it?
O hell I have to land it land my bike somehow

Im panicking and in slow mo in slow mo in slow mo
Im panicking and in slow mo I'm about to die

Im falling I'm falling I'm falling o fuck
Im falling I'm falling abort stick arms out

Arrrrggh my arm my arm and my collarbone
Arrrrgh my fucking arm and collar bone are kaput

Someone call the meat wagon the meat wagon the meat wagon
Please call me a meat wagon or a whirly bird or two

Now I'm all busted all busted so busted
Just like old mate Halvo, Mr Boland and the Beard

21 July 2014

TQ Biathlon World Champs - Results

In a world first, TQ held the very first TQ Biathlon World Champs in Perisher last Saturday.

Despite ample notice, there was a very poor turnout for the event. Was it the extreme nature of the sport or the poor attitude of my fellow QUONners? We may never know.

Extreme wind conditions and the after effects of the opening ceremony/celebrations the night before at the Banjo Patterson pub, unfortunately resulted in the shooting component being cancelled.

Extremely bad skiing almost resulted in the xc component also being cancelled, but the weather and the skills held out just enough for the 10km ski loop to be completed by the small but high quality field.

1st Randwick, 20pts
2nd Reidy, 17 pts
3rd QM, 15pts

Please see attached high quality motion pictures, and snapchat pic of the 1st and 2nd place getters, to prove this event was fully legit.




04 May 2014

Issues Facing the QUON

Uber spent the weekend hanging out with his exceed TriHards not the QUONERS.

Uber hasn't organised, well much

24 days until one of the rookies is politely asked to leave for failing to meet guidelines

Burning 'who's' kit

Beagle and his cheerleaders attire

Dominators ironman speech

Can the rookies outshine previous Napolean dancing exploits. 

02 May 2014

Please Stand By for the Announcement

Team QUON is not exactly sure what the technical difficulties are that has so far prevented the QM from announcing the results of the highly successful Tidwell Awards.  However, it can only be assumed that the problems must be quite severe to have prevented the 2013/14 Tidwell winner from getting his well deserved public accolades and respect.

Please stand by while this issue is presumably urgently being addressed.

30 April 2014

Totally Legit Performance Enhancement

When it comes to Ironman Triathlon, months and months of hard-slog dedicated training mean that you have pretty much worn out all your kit.  That's what the Ironman expo is for.  Every single retailer there is there solely to sell you something that will make you faster than you otherwise would.  By logical extension, the more you buy, the faster you will go.  Doesn't really matter what it is.

So, it only makes sense to treat yourself to only the best for your big day.  Buy up big at the expo, replacing everything you want to use on race day so that you have only the best shiny new kit possible.  Goggles, shoes, sunnies, bidon cages, bento boxes, anything at all, but most of all, anything to do with nutrition.  Gels, goos, tablets, powerbars, a last minute change of diet to the best on offer is just like putting high octane premium petrol in your car.  With everything previously unused and fresh out of the wrapper, this virtually guarantees to eliminate chance or fate ruining your race day from using old or worn kit.

You've done the hard yards, treat yourself to only the best to set your PB legacy.