Albert takes Team Quon into 2009

Ladies, Gentlemen and children of the Canberra cycling community.

Watch me lead Team Quon into the final stage of another successful season for us. Go 'ooohhh' and 'aaaahhhh' as we deprive the rest of the competition of any dignity and crush them into dust.

Follow my lead boys. Be my wingmen. We can do it

I love you all

Br. Albert

The Ghost of Xmas Past

Dear Team Quon

A very happy Xmas and new year to you from the ghosts of Xmas past. Remember to love one another and rejoice in the joy that is the love of your fellow man and the domination of semi-professional cycling.

The men, women and children of Team Jerra (RIP)

Mongo WTF?

Question for Mongo

WTF?

The Record Breakers

Team QUON's seven2seven crew lived up to all the hype and smashed the 23 hour shambles record with a pulsating performance that out did Thommo's previous best by an hour.

The two victorious members immediately celebrated the breaking of the record by cracking open a party keg and having another big night out on Sunday.

The two nameless athletes would like to thank pulse alcoholic energy drink, IGA civic and all the Somalian taxi drivers who made the record a possibility.

Quon = Failure ?

Discuss

Merry Xmas

QM

QM goes long

The reigning QUON Master has been challenged over some of his implemented reform policies, his neglect of tradition, his love of the red headed people, and his desire to drink warm beer. No one however can question his endurance.

A budding Hawaiian Ironman contender, and seasoned Ironman and a multiple tyre changer, Jason Pye has rubber stamped himself as a long course journeyman.

His efforts on Saturday the 20th of December 2008 is fitting tribute to his 'go long' policy.

QUON Terminology: Part 1

1. “D.N.F.”

Damo never finishes

2."Wednesday crits @ QUONlo"

A mandatory event for all QUONers.

3. "Tramp stamp"

A pre-requisite for any QUON Stalker.

4. "Curry-Muncher"

It would be someones new nickname if it weren't for the code of the road.

5. "Choker"

Wayneo's new nickname.

I AM YOUR ROCK

....and like a rolling stone, I gather no moss.

Fire up lads!

Wayne's World

Tomorrow, its party time. Excellent

A QUON Call to Arms...

Quonners,

The christmas crit is now upon us!

You will bring about the destruction of the V-Mobile war machine, the elimination of Culture Club tyranny over the oppressed peoples of QUONLo, and security for ourselves in a free world. Your task will not be an easy one. Your enemy is somewhat well trained, well equipped, and battle-hardened. He will fight savagely....The free men of the world are marching together to victory. I have full confidence in your courage, devotion to duty, and skill in battle. We will accept nothing less than full victory. Good luck, and let us all beseech the blessings of Almighty God upon this great and noble undertaking."

Kinds Regards

General Dwight D. Eisenhower.

P.s. No pressure Wayno.... just don't f**k it!

Destiny

Only a select few Marist boys, who have studied Catholicism in depth, are aware of the 2 commandments that didn't quite make the Bibles final cut. It is not that they lacked significance, but at the time, Moses didn't know a Wayno, and didn't know what the hell a QUON was.

In the current climate of global unrest, the time has come for me to reveal the missing 2 Commandments on this blog.

• Commandment 11 - Wayno shall win the Christmas Crit
• Commandment 12 - The QUON well and truly rock.

Nostradamus is revered for his prophecies and predictions. None is closer to my heart as the following.

"Before the year 2010, the QUON shall dominate the Canberra Cycling Community by winning the Carts Christmas Crit in 2 grades. The Team will then go on to be the ultimate force and achieve global domination.

Benny has been quoted in saying that as individual athletes "we are shit," "we have done nothing", "are F$7ck'n hopeless". What he has failed to stress, is that as a team, we are unbeatable.

Just as the Tridents were once great, the QUON as a team will achieve the dominance not seen since in the fine house of Peter James O'Rielly.

scoop

QUON WIN No4 to MAN OF WAR

yup 4 weeks, 4 wins, this time it was the MAN OF WAR!

A special message for the QUON

LIGHT IT UP BOYS!

Postcard from $onny Bill

Dear Quon,

having a great time shooting people with rubber bullets. I can't tell you exactly where I am. Spud will know; but he does have high level security clearance.

Please QM - Save the Quon.

Ian $onny Bill Mongan

D O M I N A T I O N

I think this is how you spell domination.
Checking the results from Round 6, domination is definitely what the QUON is displaying. It is definitely what the people of Canberra are talking about. It is definitely good to be a QUONer.

Men's B - 26 mins + 2 laps (32 riders)
1.Mark Terracini - Team QUON
2 Troy Reddick - Velo Canberra
3 Bruce Norton - Team QUON
4 Scott Preston - Team QUON
5 Jeff Dau - Team QUON
6 Peter Wilson - Token Products
7 Gavin Drury - DiHARDS
8 Michael Bulters -Team QUON
9 Travis Hicks - Team QUON
10 Steve Jones - Masters ACT
Men's C - 23 mins + 2 laps (24 riders)
1 Mark Bourne
2 Paul Smith - Team QUON
3 John Thorn - Masters ACT
4 Dom Aungles - Team QUON
5 Bill Laing - Bike Culture
6 John Henderson - OnyaBike Belco & Civic
7 Richard Stanton - Squadra
8 Mark Stevenson - Masters ACT
9 George Cretni
10 Martin Boyd - Team QUON

WILDCARD gets the WIN, QUON continues domination of B Grade.

The QUONs very own JOKER, BR ZANY takes out Crit No6.

While it is Wednesday, it is not Big Wednesday

This will occur in 14 more sleeps and as they say.....it will be "bigger than Noosa"

the calm before Big Wednesday

The thirty year storm is brewing. Not that you can tell from the calm waters today.

QUON C & QUON B grade riders are standing on the beach.

They have waited their whole lives for this day!

Tomorrow, they will achieve greatness.

What does the QUON and NBA Jam have in common?

We are on FIRE........yes FIRE, except for Smup's welding goggles, they hurt our image!

Congratulations to Mouldy and the lovely lady now known as Sonny B.

With any luck the union involving this blonde haired beauty will be the start of the killing of the recessive Boland ginga gene, and a world free of red-tinged children. One can only hope.

Best wishes from all of Team Quon

Corks Away! QUON dominating C grade.

It has been heard around the traps that after just 4 weeks all other C grade teams may have already conceded the C grade title to the QUON.

Indeed, rumours circulating around the office blocks of big high flying corporate companies is that the QM himself was preparing a victory speech on behalf of the QUON to accept the C grade Teams Title at the Christmas Crit. A champagne celebration is set to follow at the Christmas Shambles/QUON C Grade Champions party.

Coltrane releases first in series of QUON Tribute albums

In what is expected to be 2008's smash hit album, John Coltrane has released the first in a seven part tribute series to Canberra's largest and strongest Criterium racing team, Team QUON.

Coltrane remarked "last night at QUONlo I was overcome, I was amazed and I was in awe"....as Coltrane began to quiver, he continued: "I was just so amazed by the unity, the willingness to sacrifice and the cohesion of this remarkable group of semi-professional athletes. All I can do is make my respect for the QUON known, so here goes, I guess".

With the smash hit single - "Can you feel the Pain of the Long Blue Vein" the new tribute series is tipped to dominate the airwaves for months.

Team QUON has not provided any comments on the unsolicited tribute series, however QUON spokesman SGT BIGDOG is delighted with the release, commenting that he might just make a return to the Criterium circuit, so he can be part of something worthwhile and lose the gunt that has rendered him unserviceable to the Canberra community for so long.

IT'S BACK - YEAH BABY!

Come on - admit it!

Hot or what?

a sneak peak of a QUONers personal thoughts

Dear Diary,
On Wednesday the 19th of November 2008, I gave my all to the QUON. I rode so hard; my nipples bleed. I took along some band aids for all of my brothers to share. It was a sensational night for the QUON.

What a weekend!

.......and the stories we could tell if it weren't for the "code of the road".

look me in the eyes and tell me you are committed

.......now look at my butt and tell me if I am fat

MOULDY - Be very afraid.

INTRODUCING MRS PAUL SMITH

The Green Goblin Stikes Again

After an inconclusive outcome to the round one debacle, the Green Goblin was back on track and looking to rectify the situation. Things deteriorated rapidly once he got on the bike!

After a flurry of delicately worded instructions from the 'on track marshal,' the Green Goblin knew the time was right and went about his business with true class and precision!

As Sparkman said, "Hold your FUCKING line." or piss off back to D grade

PAUL SMITH - WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?

Fine-gate Spread Its Ugly Tentacles

It seems the ramifications of 'Fine-Gate' and lack of transparency in the upper management of the Quon has not gone unnoticed in the world's cycling press.

Wiff Wiffens, deputy head of the UCI Semi-Professional Team portfolio has commented on Cyclingnews.org, stating 'the lack of transparency with Team Quon is hurting the image of semi-professional cycling everywhere. They were a shining example of team work and love but now, with their new management team in place, an ugly spectre of corruption and under the table dealings has taken over. This has the potential to rock semi-professional cycling to its very core. It is not good'.

When will the team's management stand up and be counted. Rules are rules. When money changes hands twice it is one time too many. Let the MCA do his job free from the skeletons in other people's closets.

Let's clear this once and for all

I'm Excited!

Quoners,

The global economy is is tatters!, Trumpet's lies have upset the Quons culture, and Bigdog doesn't give a shit about cycling. These facts cannot be changed by positive attitude and good karma alone, but together the Quon CAN dominate Quonlo on Wednesday.

With all the dirty laundry aired over the last few weeks, the setting is ideal for the Quon to become the best god damn cycle team we can.

Big Kev never starred in the movie Jerry McGuire. This was an oversight by the directors of the great movie. But he holds a very special place in all of our hearts and minds as he knew that Wednesday November 12 2008 would be a great day.

Breaking news

Trumpet make generous donation to the QUON, Rick still owes money!!!

Look who just won't lie down - Sally Robbins out of the boat and on the bike

Sally "lay down" Robbins has finally decided to follow the lead of her all time hero, Mongo, and taken up cycling.

After lengthy mentoring sessions with the Yeti, in which he laid bare the sum of his cycling knowledge and skills, she had these comments in this Saturday's West Australian - "I still don't know much about tactics" she admitted (no surprise their given Mongo's performances over the past 2 years) and "I've ridden in two club meets and been in the mix all the way, but I still have to learn when and how to sprint properly" (see the CCC race results for the Yetis ability in the sprint - also being in a race does not mean you are mixing it - see Wayneo in last years C Grade races).

Sally - a small tip - cut the Yeti away, you are better off going to Big Dog for cycling tactics and information! Anyway good luck tonight when you race in the Perth Grand Prix

Br George

PS - by the way, if you do lay down on the track tonight, it will leave a mark!

Where's the $$$ Rick

How is it that a professional athlete has trouble paying a fine?? Come on Rick sort it out or ask the QM for a loan.

Beginners Guide to the HoT (TM)

The HoT (TM) is now the most popular Friday morning ride in Canberra, as evidenced by this morning's numbers. However, there are a few rules you may want to follow if you are aiming to feel welcome at the HoT (TM).

The HoT (TM) is not a ride where you can sit in and get a free ride. You are expected to roll over and pull a turn every once in a while. If you don't want to pull a turn, stay at the back and stay out of the way.

If you want to take a position, it is not acceptable to point at a gap that is about half a wheel wide and pull in to said gap, causing everyone else to take evasive action.

To Boy George - we have no respect for a guy who pulls one soft turn all morning and then dominates the sprint. The HoT (TM) was designed to make the weak strong, and the strong stronger. Pull a freaking turn! Leave that sort of tactic for Wednesday or Thursday night, not in a training ride.

If you want to know how a newcomer should treat the HoT (TM), you need look no further than Andrew Circosta. Pulls turns at every opportunity, and then pulls again. A true champion.

That is all.

Peanut Butter anyone?

The QUONs very own JOCKEY has let the cat out of the bag, his secret weapon is Peanut Butter. Some might ask why Peanut Butter, well according to the JOCKEY he has discovered away of enhancing his performance with the use of Peanut Butter. He would not go into full detail, but assures us all that Peanut Butter is the BIZ. Thanks for the HEADS UP!!

Words from S&B

At this season's launch, Br S&B inspired us with his words. Here is a small part of what he said:

To those that have ridden before, welcome back to another season with Team QUON, for those that cannot be here we welcome you to and for those that are new to the QUON remember a few simple things,

 

When you suit up in the morning, or middle of the day (Smuthy)

When you don the blue and yellow, to go out for a play,

At the HOT or the shambles or just the morning bunch

And even if your in the presence of triathletes for some brunch.

 

On Wednesday’s at QUONlo, as the sun sets in the west

Prepare yourself for battle because the QUON they do detest.

They will come at you from left and right, cause hey we don’t conform,

To the roadie code of conduct, and from this the QUON did spawn.

 

Pull on your knicks with pride boys, and wear that jersey proud

You are a QUONer, and for that you’re well-endowed.

From the elders to the rookies, from the past to present day,

Let’s show all those who care to look, that we are here to stay.

 

In summing up the QUON’s about giving it a good hard go,

And sticking it to the establishment, cause we're here for the show

For Team QUON it’s not just about our performance on the bike,

It’s the beer, the Christmas Shambles and the dribble they dislike.

 

From the words of our patron, no Rad’s not Dodger, Rod Tidwell is the man

with whom the QUON has modelled itself from back when it began.

It’s the urn and the blogsite, and all the things we honour

That make up the ‘whole thing’ and makes a QUON a QUONer.  

  

That is all.

QUON SET TO ANNOUNCE NEW SPONSOR

Whilst the 2008/2009 Criterium season has begun in sensational style for the Quon, the Quon Ministry has been busy at work securing a new sponsor for this season. Last night, there was speculation that this was the reason that the Quon Master, the Deputy Quon Master, the Financial Advisor to the Quon, and the Minister for Marketting were absent from last nights races.
Whilst there has been no formal announcement, it has been leaked that "react roofing" will be the naming rights sponsor of the Quon in the next era.
This will please the Quon greatly, as it will stop the lame excuses that we have endured in the first 2 weeks.

Quon Master earns RESPECT

Amongst the current global turmoil, leaders from every walk of life are enduring frustration and challenges to their ability to lead. Team Quon has not be spared from this hic-cup and of late experienced questionable leadership amidst the uncertainty.


I am proud to announce that the QM has 're-engaged' and has single handedly guided the Quon on a direct path to World Domination!


The picture below will make SWP very proud for continuing in tradition and maintaining the core values of the Quon. Nice work Piece of.

Scoop

VELO Superstar crosses the line for 2nd, immediately applies brakes - don't let the photo fool you!

LOST.....last seen somewhere near Hoskinstown!

JOSH CAN BITCH ALL HE WANTS: Team QUON finds new love at 2008 Crit #1

In his extraordinary debut for the greatest ever criterium racing team, Team QUON, Br Randwick locked horns and found new love with none other than one other than the Green (and now a little bit of red) Goblin himself. In what was really a shocking display of bike handling skills (or complete lack thereof) the Green Goblin took a nasty tumble (it is racing, you know), blamed Br Randwick and then had a sooky la la meow meow at Team QUON's very own Br Tonii.

Team QUON thanks the Green Goblin for the feedback and looks forward to chewing the fat (and dirt) next week, although we doubt he'll be sending any friend requests to Team QUON any time soon.

Roof fixed yet Preston?

(images of Preston's Hoskingtown shanty with a fully functional 'non-leaky' roof. Courtesy of Special Detective Craft and Customs 4 star General , Peter Kitchen).

Satellite imaging from Australia's greatest surveillance team has provided these images which will not only make every B grade rider in Canberra and district very unhappy, the Quon boys very happy, and the Canberra ladies extremely happy! The highly trained team can also confirm that the banjo was in tune and the moonshine was smooth!

Whilst the details of the disagreement between past and present Quon masters has been hushed by the Quon Elders, with all email transcripts ordered to be forwarded to the recycling bin, the athlete who calls himself 'scottyrocks' took his bat and ball home, sulked, took his instructions off the Quon Master, and spent the time to 'fix his leaky roof'

Whilst an infamous south side physiotherapist cannot quite grasp the witty nature of the Quon masters analogy, the surveillance team to the Greatest Cycling team in the World has stated that it was dry and dusty in butt-fuck, the roof is fixed, and the bitumen at Quonlo may be tasting the salty taste of old man come Wednesday night.

Phone conversations this morning indicate that Jason may not receive a Christmas card off the Quon Order of Australia recipient this year, but Quonlo will definitely see and hear Preston next Wednesday night.

SAVE THE QUON SCOTTYROCKS!

Who Is Velo???

Upon joining the group called QUON,
The stalker was really turned on.
Most ride the crits,
But they all love tits,
And Velo said, fuck off back to triathlon!

But we all know Velo is Gay!
They chase each others cocks all day,
And they dress like ginga's,
And they look like minga's,
And rip up the crits i just may!

The Training wheels have been given the flick.
If I Stack it, I'll look kike a dick.
I may still be a juvenile,
But the oldies are turning senile.
And i'm pretty sure Big Dog is trisomic!!

Randwick...

Please remember, tomorrow is the..............

message from scottyrocks

Message to Jason ;

love scottyrocks!

Quon Stalker on the Prowl

The QUON Stalker hones in on her target.
Like a large savage striped cat-like creature, she stalks the weak QUON members first.
He is dizzy from the sun. He is resigned to his fate.

Big Dog Defeats Quality Field to Take Thompson Memorial

Big Dog topped off the day nicely for TQ in the first Greatness of Simon Thompson Memorial MTB Challenge today at Stromlo Forest Park. He snatched victory when the pictured silver medallist stopped to finish all the pies 50m from the chequered flag. The bronze medallist did not get out of his car in the carpark such was his fear.

BD is shown being presented his medal and bouquet by Superintendent Sipowicz of CSI

51% shambles

A very average Shambles today; average in may respects.

Average Betty was disappointed!
Numbers were pretty average. The special guests was pretty average. Coffee - pretty average. Conversation was average in content and interest. The ride was average in length and the intensity was the same as all winter.

It might be a very lean season for the quon.

Gold medal hair-do

Wayneo wins an Olympic Gold for his 'do'.
Congratulations from the Quon