The views published on this blog are those of private individuals and are not to be taken as being associated with any organisation. If you don't like it, then simply go to another website. Thanks to our legal representative. BOOM!
28 January 2011
CAUTION !
3 comments:
The Pro Grass Cutter
said...
Who would have thought cutting someones grass would be so cool.
There are so many types of grass cutting
Edging You're out and about and you meet a cute girl. It's obvious another gardener has the spade out at the bar, but you're like the rising sun, blotting out his night sky. All's fair in love and lawn care. She makes her choice and it's for photosynthesis, not moonlight.
Trimming The other guy at the bar is your mate. Yes, he started talking to the girl first, but as soon as you get chatting with her, it's clear you're parting the bluegrass like it was meant to be. Unless your mate is a virgin, just got out of prison or is going to Iraq the next day, you owe him nothing.
Lowering the blades Now we're entering the province of Poor Form. Your mate turns up at a party/the pub/BBQ with his new love interest. They've been on a few dates, or maybe he's had the sprinkler on for her for a while and finally asked her out. However, they've not had sex.
Harmless flirting on your part is okay. Anything more, you are a grass cutter, and he's got every right to be filthy if you stray off the path of righteousness. He'll have to forgive you one day, but you should never be trusted again.
Hitting dirt This is when the man is sexually involved with the girl. It doesn't matter if he's your friend or not - if you're trying to shag another bloke's girlfriend, well, karma will catch up with you. I know it has with me.
Stalling the engine This is when you've gone so low, you've hit dirt and the Victa has seized up. If you actively try to have sex with your friend's wife, hello Wayne Carey, you are not only a grass cutter, you're also the dog that pees on the lawn when mowing has finished. You will be bashed one day.
Losing toes An acquaintance of mine has been dating a very attractive woman for some months, fallen pretty hard, but recently got the bad news from her that she didn't want to flatten the Buffalo with him any longer. Two months down the track, and he's gotten the news his best mate has moved in on the girl and been throwing more prick around than a bindi-eye patch in January.
Though they were no longer in a relationship, the best mate has still cut his friend's grass badly, and rightfully been barred by pretty much all their mutual friends. This is called running over your own foot, and most grass-cutters manage it sooner or later. May they all walk with limps.
3 comments:
Who would have thought cutting someones grass would be so cool.
There are so many types of grass cutting
Edging
You're out and about and you meet a cute girl. It's obvious another gardener has the spade out at the bar, but you're like the rising sun, blotting out his night sky. All's fair in love and lawn care. She makes her choice and it's for photosynthesis, not moonlight.
Trimming
The other guy at the bar is your mate. Yes, he started talking to the girl first, but as soon as you get chatting with her, it's clear you're parting the bluegrass like it was meant to be. Unless your mate is a virgin, just got out of prison or is going to Iraq the next day, you owe him nothing.
Lowering the blades
Now we're entering the province of Poor Form. Your mate turns up at a party/the pub/BBQ with his new love interest. They've been on a few dates, or maybe he's had the sprinkler on for her for a while and finally asked her out. However, they've not had sex.
Harmless flirting on your part is okay. Anything more, you are a grass cutter, and he's got every right to be filthy if you stray off the path of righteousness. He'll have to forgive you one day, but you should never be trusted again.
Hitting dirt
This is when the man is sexually involved with the girl. It doesn't matter if he's your friend or not - if you're trying to shag another bloke's girlfriend, well, karma will catch up with you. I know it has with me.
Stalling the engine
This is when you've gone so low, you've hit dirt and the Victa has seized up. If you actively try to have sex with your friend's wife, hello Wayne Carey, you are not only a grass cutter, you're also the dog that pees on the lawn when mowing has finished. You will be bashed one day.
Losing toes
An acquaintance of mine has been dating a very attractive woman for some months, fallen pretty hard, but recently got the bad news from her that she didn't want to flatten the Buffalo with him any longer. Two months down the track, and he's gotten the news his best mate has moved in on the girl and been throwing more prick around than a bindi-eye patch in January.
Though they were no longer in a relationship, the best mate has still cut his friend's grass badly, and rightfully been barred by pretty much all their mutual friends. This is called running over your own foot, and most grass-cutters manage it sooner or later. May they all walk with limps.
You can cut my grass any time.
Wayneo now lives in Garren you know, 2 doors down from the Rock.
The Rock has some nice lawn.
Post a Comment