QUON Master could be decided by Rap Battle

Team QUON Semi-Pro Cycling

 
PRESS RELEASE

For immediate release.

Written and authorised by: MC Kayne, Team QUON Rookie, puppet, and occasional spokesperson.
 

QUON Master could be decided by Rap Battle

I am releasing this statement today due to overwhelming public interest in the upcoming Team QUON Road Race World Championships (TQRRWC), which will be a key event in selecting the next QUON Master (QM).

It is no exaggeration to say that my phone has been running hot with inquiries regarding the likely outcome, from both the public and from within Team QUON itself.

I have also been approached by several of the protagonists, and their lobbyists, with suggestions as to the grading of athletes, the composition of teams, and the allocation of points for the TQRRWC.

All of these approaches have been given due consideration in determining the TQRRWC teams recently announced.

Not to pre-empt the outcome of the Road Race, where anything could happen, but it is highly likely that the competition for QM will result in a 3-way tie.

As you know, current QM Rock is fulfilling his obligations representing Team QUON at the Giro d'Italia, and will be unable to defend his title.

Uber and Randwick are at the top of the leaderboard, and Big Dog was reportedly seen on a bike recently, leading many to believe he is planning an under-the-radar shock-and-awe assault on the title.

In the likely event the pointscore is tied after the TQRRWC, I propose that the title of QUON Master be settled by a rap battle between the protagonists.

As you know, I am a well-regarded rap and hip-hop artist myself, and will be present to provide expert commentary and critique to assist in judgement.

For those who have not experienced a rap battle before, here are samples of what we can expect:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rhjpVVZTmqo#t=240s
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YtO-6Xg3g2M

As an aside, my own recent release, #PermissionToWOW, is just about to go viral worldwide:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t0JHJe35ccY

I have discussed this process with the contenders, and they have all commenced work on their raps.  They have also given me the following quotes for publication:

Uber: "(nervous laugh) QM? Does that mean I have to organise something?  I've never really been a fan of rap or hip-hop".

Randwick: "Well yeah whatever, my style is more instrumental electronica with endless loops and beats, but yeah, beats, I can work with that".

Big Dog: "Hip hop? That so-called musical genre beloved of scofflaws and the uneducated? Well, here's a message from me, I'll tell you to fuck off for free".

The rap battle will be held at EQ pending final allocation of points and the inevitable draw.

(Release ends)

For more details please contact the author, MC Kayne, Team QUON rookie, puppet, and ocasional public spokesperson.

About Team QUON:

Team QUON is the greatest Semi-Pro cycling team ever assembled.  It is comprised of exceptional athletes with a thirst for beer and a sense of humour.

No crybabies.