TQ Biathlon World Champs - Results

In a world first, TQ held the very first TQ Biathlon World Champs in Perisher last Saturday.

Despite ample notice, there was a very poor turnout for the event. Was it the extreme nature of the sport or the poor attitude of my fellow QUONners? We may never know.

Extreme wind conditions and the after effects of the opening ceremony/celebrations the night before at the Banjo Patterson pub, unfortunately resulted in the shooting component being cancelled.

Extremely bad skiing almost resulted in the xc component also being cancelled, but the weather and the skills held out just enough for the 10km ski loop to be completed by the small but high quality field.

Results
1st Randwick, 20pts
2nd Reidy, 17 pts
3rd QM, 15pts

Please see attached high quality motion pictures, and snapchat pic of the 1st and 2nd place getters, to prove this event was fully legit.

http://youtu.be/l-As-A5g0s4
http://youtu.be/Ju84YiRpAkc


Thankyou


QM

Match Sprint Highlights

Issues Facing the QUON

Uber spent the weekend hanging out with his exceed TriHards not the QUONERS.

Uber hasn't organised, well much

24 days until one of the rookies is politely asked to leave for failing to meet guidelines

Burning 'who's' kit

Beagle and his cheerleaders attire

Dominators ironman speech

Can the rookies outshine previous Napolean dancing exploits. 

Please Stand By for the Announcement

Team QUON is not exactly sure what the technical difficulties are that has so far prevented the QM from announcing the results of the highly successful Tidwell Awards.  However, it can only be assumed that the problems must be quite severe to have prevented the 2013/14 Tidwell winner from getting his well deserved public accolades and respect.

Please stand by while this issue is presumably urgently being addressed.

Totally Legit Performance Enhancement

When it comes to Ironman Triathlon, months and months of hard-slog dedicated training mean that you have pretty much worn out all your kit.  That's what the Ironman expo is for.  Every single retailer there is there solely to sell you something that will make you faster than you otherwise would.  By logical extension, the more you buy, the faster you will go.  Doesn't really matter what it is.

So, it only makes sense to treat yourself to only the best for your big day.  Buy up big at the expo, replacing everything you want to use on race day so that you have only the best shiny new kit possible.  Goggles, shoes, sunnies, bidon cages, bento boxes, anything at all, but most of all, anything to do with nutrition.  Gels, goos, tablets, powerbars, a last minute change of diet to the best on offer is just like putting high octane premium petrol in your car.  With everything previously unused and fresh out of the wrapper, this virtually guarantees to eliminate chance or fate ruining your race day from using old or worn kit.

You've done the hard yards, treat yourself to only the best to set your PB legacy.

That's What Mates Are For

Thanks for the heads up Flanners.  

How Deep is Deep? Imaging the QM Search Underwater

Bring It ON

Someone's ego is writing cheques their body can't cash.  However, so long as their wallets can cash out over the Royal Hotel bar, there will be no problem.  Br Wallet vs Br Piece Of vs Br Cuddles.  Who can cut the fastest lap times at the Mont this weekend?  Losers to present the winner with 6 packs to suit their taste.

Backing the Right Horse

Transcript of interview with the Leader of the Opposition Bill Shorten on 7:30 Report last week:

LS: Mr Shorten, there has recently been some QUONtroversy as to whether Br Wallet has previously raced Stockingbingal or not.  Can you please tell us your view if you think Br Skin n Bones is correct in his assertion that he never has, or not.

BS: I understand Br Wallet has addressed this in a discussion at EQ in the last week or so, I haven't heard what it is that he said, but let me say that I support whatever it is that he said.

LS: Hang on, you haven't heard what it is that Br Wallet said . . .

BS: But I support what it is that he said.

LS: Well, what's your view?  Has Br Wallet previously raced Stockingbingal or not?

BS: My view is whatever it is that Br Wallet's view is.

LS: Surely you must have your own view on this.

BS: No, when you ask what's my view on this, it's a general question that asks me to go to lots of places.

LS: Specifically, the question is whether you think Br Wallet is correct that he has previously raced Stockingbinal, or whether Br Skin n Bones is correct that he never has.

BS: These matters are yet to be determined, but I support whatever it is that Br Wallet has said.

LS: But you don't know what that is.

BS: Whatever it is, I am sure he is right!

We Believe In Bikes

The question of the week is whether VolKano's big win this week has been enough to lift the Trek Curse(TM).  We know everyone will have not stopped hearing about it yet.  Punters await with bated breath to see who turns up to the Shambles tomorrow morning.  Rumour has it that a certain Pudding may tear himself away from twitter for the morning and make an appearance.

How good is Crossy

Almighty..... The little engine that could.

Other Sporting Goals

After a believably underwhelming winter Olympic campaign from the Australians, Team QUON have realised their true calling lies in winter sports. Given the lack lustre performance and generally low attendance rates from Australian Athletes across the Sochi games, Team QUON have decided to step up and fill the places & medal tally in the up coming 2018 South Korean games. You heard it here first.

Team QUON's first pre Winter Olympic outing will be Mt Hotham Pub 2 Pub x-country ski race. This will be a selection race for cross country skiing and biathlon. Uncle Stompy will host the shooting component of the biathlon try outs separately.

ACTAB is currently taking bets on the Hotham pub 2 pub. Odds are as Follows:

Confirmed Starters

Randywick:   $1.50                  - His big mouth/lungs may in fact come in handy for this notoriously   gruelling sport. He also does crossfit, so much functional fitness.

AB:                $2.00                  - Ring in, but previous skiing experience the QUON's own telemarking champion Br Brutus will serve him well.

Br Mary:        $5.00                 - "Thomo can do it so it cant be that hard". This attitude ensures the big man will win the 1km  prime. Snot bubbles and mushroom clouds likely at the 1.2km mark.

Smup:            $10.00               - Smups long limbs, proven sporting ability & prowess, roller skiing experience and copious amounts of free time to train for the event will all prove more hindrance than help.

Piece Of        $1.50                 - Piece Of is "KEEN". He is currently paying $1.50 for a DNS and will be pulling odds of around 50:1 to start and 100:1 to get the win.

NON Confirmed starters

Br Brutus:      $5.00                 - His profile pic is telemarking you know.

Baby J            $6.00                 - Currently in red hot form over the other side of the globe. Can he hold form (and be in the country) come August? Only time will tell.

The QM (That's Carl Fellows, the ginger on the cervelo, rides sporadically, has been a little long in the face lately for anyone who's confused about who this is)
                       $12.00                - On the verge of a second middle life crisis, a change in endurance sports could be just what the doctor ordered. Luckily no time will need to be spent on perfecting technique in the sport either.

The phantom  $18.00              - His pursuit of "Other Sporting Goals" in 2014 ensures that he is definitely a contender. Given that he hasn't written a poem or worked out how to use the blog could seriously limit his aspirations of actually remaining in the QUON come August.

No Balls

The QM would like to remind everyone in the QUON that the much vaunted Indoor Cricket competition will not be held tonight, as too many jelly spined wishy washy flim flams who suffer from severe commitment issues have delved into The Book of Shadows.

Anyone who wishes to watch joke sports rather than participate in them is welcome to talk to Smuppi about watching the Winter Olympics tonight instead.

You Say It's an All Weather Track

But there were no ponies on the track tonight.  Since when was crit racing cancelled because it might be raining at some stage later in the night?  What happened to the good old days when the CCC hammered the point that racing will be held regardless of rain?

Would never have happened if Skin n Bones was still on the committee!

You Had Me at Bacon

QM Ubber is to be congratulated for his successful organising of the 2014 Rod Tidwell awards.

In a typical display of high profile leadership by example and from the front, the plucky ubber ginga has locked in 21 Mar as the big date, kicking off events from 2:30pm as Smuppy drops the first GM free soy and linseed organic sausages on the barbie, followed by chicken kebabs and tonnes of bacon.

A ceremonial fish pond stacked full of live goldfish will be erected prior to the day, where it is expected all empty long necks will be cunningly stashed.

While the event program is still under wraps, QUONners can expect the plan will involve severely pissing off the neighbours with boisterous joviality followed by a Joycie hunt later in the Cit-tay.

No Dummy. No Apology.

Brother BTG explaining in his normally calm and rational manner that The Shambles (TM) is the greatest team ride that one can hope to participate in and it is incomplete without both severe personal trial and team camraderie post ride at EQ.  And if you have a problem with that, perhaps you could turn up occasionally, on a real bike, and pull a decent turn on the front once in a while.

Beauty Sleep Required

Trevor really rode himself ugly today in one of the greatest Shambles ever.