Happy New Year from Team QUON and our Pro Tour Patron

The THURSDAY H.O.T.

The Greatest H.O.T. of 2009. It was TIGHT.

Kobe and Lebron say Merry Xmas - Now go dunk on a Reindeer

Christmas Shambles, Done & Dusted

Another big day for the QUON with the annual Christmas Shambles taking place yesterday, perhaps the GREATEST EVER!! Anyone for a SHERRY....

Many thanks to all who contributed, but in particular SchmickoB, Trailjayzer, Cam and Son - those bacon & egg rolls were the bizz and the various drop off's, Wayneo, Vinnie, Smup & the Princess, KC, Terra & Uli. S&B once again continued to get his hands dirty and helped out all day long.

Thanks to the Vikings Boys and Brad from BC, we thoroughly enjoyed your company and your Chrissie Carol. We hope you all got home ok, your contracts will be mailed in the coming weeks.

To all the Canberra Cycing community may you have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Team QUON

Don't forget it...........

Apollo 11 - Team QUON - 16 December 2009

Merry Christmas to all

Christmas crit time.

A time for cheer and goodwill.

A time for dreams and hope for the future.

Team QUON wishes a Merry Christmas to
everyone in the Canberra Cycling community.

We truly hope one day that your pipe dreams
of beating the blue train come true.

Love from Team QUON

PS - Come and say hi at QUON Corner this Wednesday.
We will be having our Christmas Bash.
Vikings more than welcome.

COIN IS OWING

These people owe coin.

Marty $5.00
Ambo $5.00
Mary $10.00
Trumpet $15.00
Simi $5.00
Tonii $5.00
DOMinator $31.00


Bring it with you this Wednesday to the Christmas Crit, or use it to buy some tissues when everyone else is Christmas Shambling next Saturday.

Any other fines accrued on the night will need to be paid instantly.


QM

Some Tips Before The Xmas Shambles from the QM

Below our own QM shows you how to ride the Xmas Shambles (TM)..This video was taken from his recent trip to Bright, where he hung out with his Ukranian brothers.

A certain local cycling association congratulates a certain fireman, who cannot be named or easily identified, for a certain smashing performance

This post has been vetted by the Team QUON Privacy and Sensitivity Commissioner. Sorry in advance if our dominance in B and C grades upsets anyone

Apollo 11 we have lift off

FINES ARE DUE

NO PAYO.

NO XMAS SHAMBLES O.

You may as well start planning some shnuggle time with the missus/significant other/dog.


Fines are listed on the dribble. Get them to Mongo or the QM or pay the price.


QM

Respect

Team QUON gives a short sharp one-armed salute to the Vikings and others who looked after the DOMinator at the top of Mt Hotham on Sunday during The Tour of Bright.

Details are a bit sketchy as the DOMinator is still dribbling and unable to form complete sentences, after his incredible effort.

We also hope that your rider who crashed on one of the hairpins is ok. Even if it was Bosworth.


Respect

Team QUON TV provides some advice

Here's some advice for all those new Crit riders out there. It is brought to us by our American QUON member Sal Collura. Sal is a big fan of the QUON.



Please note: Get in every break.

Team QUON TV

There have been rumblings of a new Team QUON innovation that will see the average cyclist even more engaged with the Canberra Cycling Club criteriums and the inner workings of the worlds best club cycling team.

As a prequel to what may be in store. Here is a video to think about:

You Know Who You Are

The Canberra Crit Fringe Festival

With the likely demise of the Canberra Fringe Festival this year, Team QUON applaud the new initiative undertaken by the Canberra Cycling Club at last night’s crit round.

The power and strength of crits mixed with the more cerebral arts. Stand up comedy this week in B grade, perhaps a Team QUON versus Vikings poetry slam next week, and a freestyle rap competition to end the year and bring back fond memories of 8 mile.

As fellow visionaries, Team QUON are 100% behind this new and exciting change to the Wednesday night routine. To be honest, the monotony of the QUON domination on the track, was getting a bit old, even for us.

TQ

Knicks Exemption Application

In accordance with the directive given by the QM I would like to apply for exemption of the application of the dress code fines for the crits for myself and my rookie (Brother of Wombats) until the new kit arrives.

The application fee will be paid in full tomorrow.

Mouldy

Suck it up princess

Learn to read and get over it

Barf-O-Rama Wednesday

Gordie: ...the main guy of the story is a fat kid that nobody likes named Davie Hogan.

Vern: Like Charlie Hogan's brother. If he had one.

Chris: Good Vern. Go on, Gordie.

Gordie: Well this kid is our age but he's fat. Real fat. He weighs close to one-eighty. But you know, it's not his fault. It's his glands.

Vern: Oh yeah, my cousin's like that, sincerely. She weighs over three hundred pounds! Supposed to be Hyboid Gland or something. Well, I don't know about any Hyboid Glands, but what a blimp! No shit. She looks like a Thanksgiving turkey. And you know this one time...

Chris: Shut up, Vern.

Vern: Yeah, yeah, right. Go on, Gordie, it's a swell story.

If you know the story, you have the key to unlock B Grade success tomorrow night.

only 36 hours until relief and redemption

The DOMinator only has 36 hours of the shit slinging remaining.
We then enter the 'Day of Love', where peace and redemption can be achieved.
I am sure he will be wiser in the 4th round.........no, I really really believe that!

Johnny Drama says "It's ok to be dorky...and a little bit gay"

Just remember, when nobody else loves you, that loving yourself is the most important love....if you know what I mean :-) LOL

I also say it's cool to put zip ties in your helmet and leave them there all year for those pesky magpies you Ozzies have.  Hey they're just like Viking horns....Cool.  LOL :-)

Customs seize fake Colnago frames, disrupt major smuggling ring

Customs officers in Perth have seized counterfeit Colnago frames with an estimated street value of more than $10 million.
The fake Colnago frames were sent via post from China in eight different consignments over the past four months. All were addressed to a certain address in Yarralumla, you know.
The frames, which are painted in traditional Colnago colours and look like carbon fibre but are actually made from lead.
The Customs Minister says the importers could face civil action from the Colnago company but they have given an undertaking to stop importing the goods. Law enformcement agencies are currently holding a balding and whimpering Yarralumla man, with a sniffle, and expect to lay charges later today.

Welcome to 'Clap Wednesday'

The 'Clap' is a terrible disease, originally started by unholy people. Let's stamp out this scourge on society. Support 'Clap Wednesday' by getting your Green Ribbon and wearing it with pride.

Team QUON says NO to the Clap.

Ssshhhhhhh

Todays Life Lesson

Some people like peaches.

Some people like cream.

But when you order peaches & cream, and you get tinned apricots and long-life custard from a tetra-pak, you should ask for your $300 back.

The Day of Love (TM)

Wednesday's in QUON folklore is deemed to be 'The Day of Love (TM)'.

The QUON Master has decreed that the Day of Love (TM) should come a day early this week.

Team QUON wishes our surprisingly big blog audience a wonderful 2 days of love.

We will obviously still spank your asses in the crit tomorrow, as we usually do - but with some extra love this week.


QM

Do I Look Too Gay In This?

Yes - yes you do. Nothing screams HIV more than a tall skinny man mincing around on roller skis! What next, bloody recumbants?

New entry into the Book of Shadows - Bird Flu

This is the difference between........ I am cool at work, and I have to muscle up and ride my balls out at Quonlo.
Next time you clean your teeth, have a good hard look at what's looking back at you!

Miss Manners

Boys, when I was at at school Miss Manners took me aside and told me that good manners cost nothing. She also did a few other unmentionable things to me, and very soon was no longer at the school. But that is another story. This brings me on to the subject of crits.

It is good manners to let your fellow teammates know if you are unable to race at that weeks crit. You committed to race crits so pull your finger out and get there or have a damn good excuse.

From this week you will be fined if you fail to send an email to the Dribble explaining why you cannot turn up. Don't just tell someone to tell someone else because you are too scared, like a freakin little 3rd grader. I don't care if you have to make 3000 donuts, or lay a slab, or play first trumpet in a travelling band. As long as you let us know.

Fail to heed these words and you will be named and shamed from this week onwards.

That is all.

Liverpool Hospital. The QUONs home away from home.

In breaking news Team QUON has announced that it has secured the site for it's interstate headquarters. This new facility will allow for its members to rest up after mountain bike events so that they can be at their peak for the grueling season of up coming summer races.

NSW Ambulance Service has won the contract to provide direct flights for team members after events held around the Wingello State Forrest as part of a new sponsorship arrangements.

OH DEAR

Anyone wanna buy a Giant mountain bike?

Happy Birthday SPUD!

Hope you loved your early morning surprise!
Kisses xxx
Steve

Oohhh to be like SchmickoB

Seated this week, one legged next!

the DEAN JONES SCANDAL

Not since Dean Jones' Australian cricket Boards contact was stamped "NEVER TO TOUR AGAIN" has Australian seen the despicable act of shunning one if its great sportsman.
This weeks announcement of the QUON's Teams and respective grade captains will forever been known as the DEAN JONES SCANDAL, and will always been seen as a black mark that the QUON will have to bare.

Scottyrocks has refused to comment on his demotion from Capatin. I am unaware whether he was given the respectful tap on the shoulder or not, but the founder and leader of some of the greatest leadout trains in history and most successful team captain since the inception of Team QUON did not feature with a (c) behind his name when the teams were announced yesterday.

In opposing corners, Jason Pye, Randwick and Simon Johnston, with 6 races between them in the 2008/2009 season have been shown more faith and support by the Elders. And not since the ginga superstar was promoted to captain of the mighty Hawks has a leap of faith been demonstrated.

Elders.....please explain!

The QUON Moral Compass (TM) says: NEVER, EVER, bite the hand that feeds YOU

NO GARY NO

NOooooooooooooooooooooooo GARY!

The Road Less Travelled

When you come to a fork in the road, it takes a certain kind of individual to come up with the courage and pluck to take the road less travelled.

Team QUON salutes the man with the big undies for taking the road less travelled at such an important juncture of his young life.

Big predictions from the dominator

the YEAR is 2010........

1. I will update my profile and score a hot date on adult friend finder.
2. I will ride solo at the SCOTT 24hr race.
3. I will finish the Shambles (TM) and the HoT(TM) with the pack.
4. I will understand the true meaning of the Quon.
5. I will save the Quon!

Skin & Bones Takes QUON Hill Climb World Champs

Off his death bed and still in traction from his recent misfortune, Skin & Bones blitzed the 2009 QUON Hill Climb World Championships up Mt QUONlo last Saturday. His time was 15:00min from the gun (12:30 Nett), and a deserving winner of Dean Roger’s historical KOM winners jersey from the 1998 Canberra Tour.

Closing fast at the end was Mr Hot himself, crossing the line in 15:11 (11:30 Nett), and then Randwick whose 45kg frame and fresh legs carried him to the speed hump 9 seconds later. Robo finished next, just off the podium with his Trident legs unable to perform in conditions that suited the blood nuts.

Filling out the top 10 were GTE, Pysie, Jayson, Matty, Brucie and the QM.

The wet sludgy conditions cruelled the chances of the off-roaders with the QM the first across the line. Pedalling one legged, he blew the muddy legs off Mongo, Mouldy and House Of.

Wayneo, who told his wife he was just heading off to get some clean towels and hot water, paid for an early surge and a vain attempt at sticking with the skinniest man in the world up the treacherous lower slopes of QUONlo. He blew spectacularly to limp home in 11th.

Kungfu’s lack of recent Hot/Shambles attendance was evident in his sluggish performance. But his 15th place still put his lowly World’s finish to shame.

Br Vinny got in to the spirit of the event with his badly thought-out cyclo-cross excursion - losing both shoes and his QUON socks in a bog. With bleeding flesh on cold metal pedals, he crossed the line in 20th place over 5 minutes after the winner.

Despite organising a bribe to gain a more favourable handicap, BIG DOG couldn’t even get to the start line on time AND UNSURPISINGLY HASNT PAID THE BRIBE YET! His spectacular attire was only matched by his spectacularly slow time of 25:07.

The QUON Elders and QUON Rookies who cbf’ed to turn up have been duly noted.


QM

Is Lou all set for the 24HR?

Return of the Rock!

The streets of the inner south were buzzing with the news that the QUONS very own hard man "The Rock" had made his long awaited return to the Wednesday bunch ride.

Brushing aside concerns over his career threatening injuries suffered in a most unfortunate recent accident The Rock said that he was looking forward to the up coming Summer Criterium Series where he is expected to assert his dominance once again.

Stomps stomps hard on the Wednesday Bunch

Tonii delivered a crushing blow to Canberran riders this morning, destroying the Wednesday Bunch in the Novar Street Gallop with a superb display of tactical riding. Not since the days of Rookie X has such a sensational exhibition of riding prowess been seen on the streets of Yarralumla. What the picture above has to do with this article is any one's guess.

Tardy, tardy, tardy...

Will Bigdog fit in this jersey? Will Pizzle be able to eat the nappy? QUON KOM championship to provide the answers tomorrow....

The QUON, in recognition of the importance and prestige associated with the annual QUON hill climb title for 2009 have dug deep into the Treasury of the Brethren to produce a historical 1998 Canberra Tour KOM winners jersey to be presented to the victorious athlete upon hitting the speed bump first in tomorrows highly anticipated race.

The jersey winner will be required for a substantial number of media conferences shortly after the presentation, however the post KOM party will be kicked of in fine style with several hundred piccolo latte's at Canberra's newest finest coffee establishment.

What everyone is really awaiting though is the showdown between the Pizzle and Bigdog.
Mt. QUONlo will answer all questions 8am tomorrow.

That is all.

Team QUON recruits new member

Move over Steve the prancing mincer as Team QUON have a new gay QUONabee. Fergus & Matt have been captured in the social pages while out on their recent man date. Fergus was overheard whispering into Matt’s ear “we at Team QUON are all about boys. We like the chamois-less bike short and we embrace all lifestyles.”




Team QUON wish you all the best in your quest to becoming a fully fledged QUON member and would like to congratulate Fergus for finally coming out.

BD TQ KOM 2009, yes he can

The glory days will be back this weekend. Team Quon believes it is time for BD to make the statement he has promised for so long, and also believe he is in prime position to do so. BD TQ KOM 2009, can you feel me?

Post event meal of underpants to be consumed by PYE, J at a time to be selected. That, definitively, is all

DON'T LIGHT THE BONFIRE JUST YET!

It looks like Santa may be bringing the new kit, so the sponsors with dodgy Quonabees may keep their kit free from burn marks a bit longer.
It may be a calendar malfunction, or maybe the uniform elders are just giving these rookies every chance to succeed.

Bugger the band - he is going solo!

Just like Robbie Williams, the all-boy band has been abandoned and sights are set on a solo career.
But the reality that every retired boxer faces will soon greet our favourite son if he chooses to make that decision to comeback.
Triathlon is dead baby, and soon you will be too old man.

Team QUON announces angry new line up for 2009-10 Criterium Season

GADEL WINS GOLD

He is Rad's mate. He went to school with Dom. He twitters with Skin and Bone.
Well done Gaydel!

Wanted

He was last seen trying to 'get away' from a pack of Triathletes on the Gold Coast. Witness Mark Turner described him as "incensed. All I wanted to do was sit behind him and he flew into a rage. I feel sorry for the little kiddy's that heard what he said, those poor innocent children."

He was last seen wearing a Green and Gold race suit and a new, white helmet that is said to have been sequestered from a recent raid.

It is believed that 'Zany' has also stock piled copious amounts of clothing, which he is now storing in his Garage. Anyone with any information is asked to contact crimestoppers on 1800 BIG FLOG.

Email Meltdown

For F's-sake who let Big Dog back on the email?

My iPhone exploded today.


- Anon

Kit orders now taken

But the order from Robbo, Grego and Big Undies will be held for further discussion.

Trevor, Scottyrocks and Pysie better buy extra kit.

BURN BABY BURN!

QUON World Championships Hill Climb

Round 2 of ‘Muppi’s Feats of Strength and Endurance’

When: 8:00am start, Saturday October 3
(roll from Ghost Ride Shop from 7:30am).

Where: Start at new Bushfire Memorial Carpark, on Uriarra Rd, near corner Uriarra Rd/Cotter Rd.

What: Handicapped Climb of Stromlo (to the traffic bump).

Ride on road / off road / or run.

$$$ An incredible $50 prize for the winner. $$$


QM

Emotions are running high

The QUON list is still undecided for the 2009/2010 Crit season.

Will we see all of the elder statesmen back in blue this year?

...........only time will tell

PLEASE EXPLAIN JASON PYE

There is a number of issues that the former QUON Master must address immediately, however I will ask the questions slowly, and question by question so everyone can keep up.
1. His QUON Rookie - the man who has big underpants - has to this date not responded to the request sent out by the WQME to join the dribble, even after the correct email was provided. The email has not bounced, or has been rejected. No comment by this QUON hopeful has been forthcoming, or has Jason himself forwarded on any message from him. Marty has asked for clarity, and has availed himself for this cause. Jason, please explain why your sponsored rider has failed to-date to uphold one of his tasks that he needs to fulfill to become a member of the QUON?

Randwick steps in it again

In yet another act of stupidity, Randwick, or Judas (that's the name he has on his pencil case), sometimes member of the QUON, mostly member of Tridents (who??) has stepped in it, again.

Is it time for a thumbs up/thumbs down?

Save the QUON

Robbo found.................he is suspect though!

Dear QUON, I would like to apologize for my severe lack of participation in QUONfunctions and events in the past. I hereby wish to pledge my white triathlon legs to Team QUON and to the upcoming crit season.
Peace Robbo.

WELCOME BACK ROBBO