TIME IS RUNNING OUT

Attention all QUONers and QUONabee's.
The transfer window for all QUONabee's to become QUON-rookies for the 2009/2010 'QUON Season of Dominance' is fast approaching.
The steps have been distributed on the dribble several times, yet if further clarification is required, an immediate phone call to the GQME or Scottyrocks must occur.
All nominations and qualification must occur before the next ELDERS meeting, which is to be held in late August; so time is running out!
Remember, the nomination process is iron-clad. It is the sole responsibility of the sponsor to nominate, arrange a suitable meeting time, and ensure that the QUONabee is worthy, and then continues to be worthy throughout the season.
Brothers, we are entering potentially the greatest season that QUON has experienced since it's inception before the days of Team Jerra. If there is a suitable and deserving candidate out there, it's time to put up or shut up!

Gone Fishing!

Team QUON has officially GONE FISHING. Br Addy has the biggest bag by far, but don't discount Br Bon Joxall as he is yet to produce his. Who's your MONEY on?

Hi, I'm Damo's mum

But some of you boys already know me.......

Hi, I am cuddles' hot sister

Hi I'm Suzie Hoitink, and I am a registered nurse who completed my Bachelor of Nursing at the University of Canberra in 1996 and have nursed in a variety of clinical settings since.

Having struggled with acne-prone skin since my teenage years and finding very little help available, my attention turned to skin care. In 2005 I founded the Clear Complexions Clinic, a clinic staffed by skilled skin care nurses.

I developed my skills working for a leading cosmetic surgeon in Canberra where I was trained in Intense Pulsed Light Therapy (IPL), microdermabrasion, acne and pigmentation treatments such as Clearskincare , and the application of Botox © and Restylane ©. I have been trained in a wide variety of surgical procedures, from the removal of moles through to larger cosmetic surgeries such as face-lifts and breast augmentations.

I look after the Ginga, the tubby and the ugly. Check out my web site, www.clearcomplexions.com.au and check out my photo.

Hi I'm Cuddles!

I have been laying pretty low, so some of you may not know me. I am the good looking rooster on your right, (not the tubby fellow in the gay looking top on your left).
We couldn't afford a trip to France this year, so we rode the Victorian Alps instead.
....wish you were here!

Love Cuddles(brother of Suzzie)

Christmas in July for Dodger

Following the completion of some little pissy bike race in Frog Land, the QUON's own Pro Tour patron has now set his sights on the year's most exciting Grand Boucle, the Christmas Shambles on 19 December 2009.



Good to see you training early Dodger!!

LBF your Virtual QM!

So another TDF done and dusted. Well done to KC on his win, he now has $50
to spend at any QUON establishment/establishments over the month of August.

It was a close contest between Br Smuppy and Br LBF the whole may, the
better man came through though! Cammy Boland was a surprise third, he
was in the top10 from the start and clawed his way to the final podium
position over the last few stages. Wayneo, was the man who fell out of
the 3, his time in Melbourne with Scotty Rocks possibly costing him.
Then again, the buffer between third and fourth was quite substantial.
Fifth went to Shane Rogers, who even dropped his brother Mick, much to
the disgust of the other brothers. Brother Pizzle and myself tied for
6th, funnily enough it was he and I who were a bit dumb founded by the
rules, and made some hastily and unnecessary changes, perhaps we will be
wiser for it next year!! 8th went to the GIRO comp winner Br Almighty,
showing yet again he's a force to be reckoned with in these type of
competitions. 9th went to trail jayzer, he was lurking the whole
tournament but never quite packed the punch required. And finally
rounding out the top10 came the first QUONabee, Br Mouldy's keeper. But
I think Cam will say most importantly he has bragging rights for a year.

There was plenty who made charges at various points of the competition,
but only Smuppy and KC ever looked like winning. Some placed a team at
the start and didn't trade again, others had spreads sheets, but most
importantly it was great to see over 30 QUONers getting a team together.
We should not forget the other half dozen or more who couldn't quite
understand the rules, therefore not eligible to score. On that note Br
Tonii had a very promising team or two, maybe next year Tonii.

The Lanterne Rouge was Mr Hoitink, brother of Susie? So all in all, thumbs
up to the SBS comp I think, unless others think OZTIPs is the GO next year.

TW

And the winner is LBF, $50 to spend at any QUON establishment for the month of August.

1 13 LBFs Legion Mr Casey Guthrie 723 1899
2 24 Eurosport is better Mr Paul Smith 704 1857
3 88 Mouldys Marauders Mr Cameron Boland 772 1771
4 181 globules rouges Mr Wayne Spratford 628 1683
5 204 Maillot Jaune Mayor Mr Shane Radnell 809 1667
6 214 Piece of Pyes Mr Jason Pye 665 1664
6 212 Who is Trevor Wallet? Mr Travis Hicks 766 1664
8 371 Pimp my Team Mr Bruce Norton 698 1606
9 485 team trailjayzer Mr Jay Reid 695 1574
10 638 110RPM Mr Simon Johnson 631 1537
11 821 Go, Go, EPO Mr Jesse Featonby 813 1502
12 1162 BUNGENDORE SINGLES CLUB Other SCOTTY PRESTON 631 1446
13 1309 Southern Ginga Mr Damian Boland 715 1426
14 1774 Wise Men and Baby J Mr Simon Thompson 702 1361
15 1802 Ambo Mr Gav Godkin 639 1358
16 1871 2 Hell & Back Mr Jayson Clarke 634 1351
17 1927 Randwicks Racers Mr Dom Aungles 623 1343
18 2039 Que Cera Cera Other Mc Diesel 499 1329
19 2052 As and 9s Mr patrick Chivers 600 1328
19 2053 THE GTE EXPRESS Mr Stephen Terracini 504 1328
21 2102 The Effin Seas Mr Adrian CRAFT 564 1323
22 2175 House Of Heroes Mr Scott Payne 623 1314
23 2589 Yetis Legends Mr Ian Mongan 581 1272
24 3715 Morning Glories Mr Chris Wilson 466 1160
25 3918 QUONrejects Ian Barges 588 1139
26 5161 A Firey Bunch of BLD's Mr Jeffrey Dau 304 1019
27 6957 Bones Boulevardiers Mr Nathan Spillane 214 828
28 8318 Cuddles Mr Greg Hoitink 316 625

And, the better halves!
2 Manager profile = Lame Ms Simone Dilkara 811 1999
178 Brookies Beauties Ms Brooke Niven 662 1688
4804 Hammertime Kate Vandenberg 408 1055
5187 Mrs Mongos Monsters Mrs Melissa Mongan 467 1017

Through dance; the world is a better place!

My mobile records show a million calls to QUON members over the weekend.
My excitement of being crowned "Melbourne's Most Amazing Dancer" was overwhelming and I could not hide my emotions. I apologise for any inconvenience or distress it may of caused.
However, I am pleased to report that through dance - Melbourne is now a safer city.


And Smuthy, I look forward to sharing in your wealth.

Cadel, learn to SHARE!

A great night was had by the hard men of the QUON at Br S&B last night, thanks again for your hospitality Nath. A big thank you to Br Euro as well for the fine brew!

Plenty of laughs in the room last night, hey Cadel? Anyway back to the update, Br Mouldy moved himself into 3rd last night, for how long is anyone's guess(oh maybe today). Clarkey put himself in the mix for a top10 placing, but may have left his run too late.

It would seem however that Mr Smith is in the box seat for the win, with KC having TT specialists in his initial team. KC should hold on to 2nd, but you can throw a blanket over the rest. Positions 3-10, the only positions that matter for QM points, will be determined on the Champs-Élysées tonight. It may well come down to someone who has kept a sprinter or two in the mix through the mountain stages, but will more than likely come down to the final standing position points.

Tomorrow morning will reveal all.

Good luck to Simone, you are one cycle savvy chick.
TW

Br Skeletor to buy Team QUON a QUON-a-van with TDF winnings, GQME!

Time to concede Mr Smith?

Stage18 ITT and Contador has all but won the Yellow, only a massive blow up on Mt Ventoux could see him lose. Saturday night at Nath's promises to be real big.

LBF extended his lead last night, not by much, but it all counts. Almighty used his double points and has moved himself up the standings, but probably not as much as he would have liked.

The two teams looking ever so dangerous are Br Mauldys Marauders & the Maillot Jaune Major, Br Mauldys keeper and trail jayzer are also in the mix. They will be hoping for the big hitters to come up trumps on Ventoux. Tonights stage could have a small say on the standings, it will need a roughie to stay clear. Smithy, Moncoots will surely be in the break, do you have him?

It would seem BIGDOG has lost his bark, and that fella who lives half way between here and the bay, are well and truly out of the running.

There are a handful of teams outside the top10 who could make a move with a big play on Mt Ventoux., they are 2 Hell & Back, Southern Ginga, Ambo and House of Hereos.

All the rest of you are shit, with Cuddles owned by Mr Hoitink having no idea at all. If I was his sponsor, I would be WORRIED!

Muchas Gracias
Senyor TW

Jens required to pay damages

French government officials have advised Team Saxo Bank that they are liable for the cost of damage caused to the road when Jens Voigt crashed. Team QUON has been given photos of the road taken only seconds after Jens hit it. It seems that Jens is the toughest substance known to man. Team QUON thinks the French Government should be thankful that Jens hit the pavement with his face and not his legs - the damage would have been irrepairable had that happened!

Stage17 - LBF in Control, and double points sky rocket a few!!

So the QUEEN stage of the TDF has been run and won, and what an epic stage it was.

Once again most of the top10-15players in the league had a hand full of top ten riders. It was a massive stage for team QUON, everyone jumped up the overall leader board. Rads, had the first three riders across the line, pity it was not your double points!!

The BIG mover was Yetis Legends, Mongo moved himself from 3193 to 1495 last night, with a nice double point play. Yours truly scored the most points for the night with his double point play and in doing so moved into z top5, not counting those with two teams!!.

There are still a number of teams to use their double points, the people to gain the most being Pimp my Team opting for tonight's ITT. Saturday nights ascent of MtV (Pysie, did I tell you I've climbed MtV) sees Mouldys Marauders, 110RPM, Maillot Jaune Major and teamtrailjayzer gunning for the top5.

For us that have used our double points we can only hope a big escape group go clear, yes this looks highly UNLIKELY based on last nights antics.

The competition is far from over.

TW

Jens Down!

As everyone saw, last night the big German unit went down hard. Luckily, he has Scotty Rocks on speed dial and had a quick chat with the Hoskinstown publican. Scotty revealed to the QUON today that:

"I have just got off the phone to Jens, and to clarify the situation; he didn’t pull out, the UCI forced him to retire. As the following vehicle was a neutral spares van (wheels only) and not the team car which was trailing the main group, he couldn’t get a replacement bike to continue after his crash. He began to run down the hill, and was catching the leaders, but the UCI ruled that he needed 2 wheels to be classified as still in the bicycle race. He then grabbed 2 wheels from the trailing spares vehicle, and continued running. As he was catching the yellow jersey, the UCI, fearing grave embarrassment, disqualified him, and ordered him into the trailing ambulance."

Understandably, Jens and Team QUON are shattered

RANDWICK set to amaze the QUON

In possibly the biggest news to hit the Brotherhood of the QUON to date, the French speaking jockey, Dom Aungles, (love child of Gabriel Gateau of SBS/TDF fame) is set to come clean and tell the world that he his gay.
"I am not ready just yet; but soon" he was overheard telling Bigdog whilst running around the lake this morning."When my nipple rings crust over and butt crack stops hurting, I will be screaming it loud from the top of Pysie's Subaru."
Bigdog, showing the leadership traits which he was taught before he was kicked out of the Navy, took the young mans hand and showed him the way when he passed the toilets at Yarramundi Reach.
This is where Br Mouldy and Wombats Brother passed on their encouragement and the traditional nude-group-hug.
Long live the gay community within the QUON......I think.

HARDEN UP WILL YA!

Harden up POOFS, it's TOUR TIME and the dribble is DEAD!

Team QUON Announces Pace Car for Shambles (TM)

Team QUON are trialling a pace car for tomorrow's Shambles (TM) ride. Serious incidents in recent weeks have prompted this innovative move.

"We are not sure it will be able to keep pace with us on all our routes. We are looking at making it amphibious in the near future," sources were quoted as saying.

Team QUON ask for all motorists, dog walkers and ducks to keep an eye out for a ripped bunch of cyclists following a car around tomorrow, and give them the respect they deserve.

Blocker follows Smithy and blows his GUJ

QUON Rookie Patty Chivers worships Paul Smith QM.

So much so, he has blown his GUJ for the week, headed down to Melbourne; the home of the biggest Indian population outside New Delhi, and is reading up on all the form and gossip leading into the final week of the tour.

He has stopped drinking rum, stretches for 3 hours a day, and has recently subscribed to eurosport.

Before we know it, they will be kissing at Yarramundi Reach

Preston; happy that the mountains have returned!

Scottyrocks Preston has done a lot of dumb things since I have known him. Nude cartwheels at the Yacht Club; wearing his pants backwards at Ironman meltdown; competed the Tridents Club Tri in cowboy boots and on a kids bike; the air swing at Manly and the fight at the AIS against Bigdog.

Trading out all of his sprinters last Saturday, and using all of his transfer allocations on day 1 when the second transfer window opened surpassed all of his 'dumb' awards.

The baby-boomer was impressing us all with his use of the bonus stage and team make-up. But the Tour is a 21 day stage race, and the twitter updates from Lance reminds us all that it is a long tour. Perhaps if the techno-challenged publican joined the Rock in his evening Twitter classes held at Stirling TAFE, we would see Preston still up with the leaders at the end of week 2, instead of floundering at the bottom of the slop bucket!

Team Quon Expands in to Panama

Hi there. My name is Once Referes (my first name is pronounced "onsay"). My friend Big Dog told me about your cycling team and has invited me to join. I own many, many Fubu tracksuits and won my regional spelling bee when I correctly spelt "refers". I hope to emulate my friends achievments on the bike and cheat my way to 10th place in a D grade crit.

Thank You Dr Nick

Team QUON is pleased to hear that QM Paul Smith has recovered successfully from his operation. His smashed cankle was operated on by the best upper arm specialist that private health insurance can buy. We all look forward to Muppi getting back on his brand new hand-cranked bike once his TDF tipping delirium is all wrapped up.

Boonen Praises New Training Partner

Tom Boonen revealed today in a press conference the reasons for his unprecedented form in the Tour de France this year.

"Hulloooo, yes I have hooked up with zee new training partner. We are doing zee A grade miles, zee moto-pacing, dressing on zee left, and building up to zee 7 to 7 efforts. I am zee Belgium frites eater you know, so had heard of zee 6 day races, but had no idea what zee 7 to 7 effort or zee pinger vus. It has all taken zee fitness to zee new level."

Tonii refused to comment. But has been heard to say the word 'zee' a hell of a lot recently.

All hail Paul Smith

All hail Paul Smith, he is undoubtedly the finest Fantasy TDF QUONer of
all time. He picks up a RaboPlus Cycling Pack worth $168, it includes a
short-sleeved jersey, helmet and a pair of cycling gloves. He'll need
them sometime in 2010 when he can ride a bike again!

Smups pick of Danilo proved not all is well with his head space though,
another caught out was Wayneo who followed Smups footsteps.......

Plenty of movement on the ladder, Boland v Johnson v Radnell (I have
seen Sonny's boobs you know) are on the up. BIGDOG, Preston, Randwick
and other McD appear to be on the slide, BIGDOG however has trades up
his sleeve (he won't use them though, remember he doesn't ride bikes and
doesn't give a shit, but he put in a team anyway!!).

Pysie plays his double points tonight, if the finish is anything like
last night he'll be in the points big time.

With more flat stages to come, and plenty of double points in hand there
is bound to be a major shake up in the standings.

Life sucks when you have traded out all of your sprinters!

What equally sucks is when you spend majority of your billable hours devising spreadsheets and strategies to use your bonus stage, only to wake up and realise that the maximum points received were not enough to topple the top half of the field.
2009 has not been a good year so far for Mr Jason Pye.

My team winning SELECTION, get on him boys!

Gaydel Evans' Lovers & Rads Falls out of Love

The list below outlines those people in the QUON who are poofs. i.e they have Evans the whinger on their team.

1) Brookies Beauties (Has to be gay if she is marrying the lady bum)
2) Scott QAOM Preston (The QUON's number one poof)
3) Other McDiesel (whoever the fuck you are, you are gay too)
4) Patty 'Blocker Roach' Shivvers a lot. (what a poof. haven't seen him since his one ride to coffee after the shambles and now he picks up Evans. Definitely gay)
5) Ian (who are you?)Bargearse - don't ride, pick Cadel. Gay.
6) Mel 'hats off' Moogan. Mongo would turn most people gay. She has taken it to another level by picking Evans.
7) Josh 'Tonii stomps' Quillam. Pretends he isn't gay, but we all know he is. Evidenced by picking Evans in this competition.

Other breaking news: SHANE RADNELL HAS DROPPED MICK ROGERS FROM HIS TEAM!

This on the back of reports that Dodger finally made public his obvious better friendship with the ROCK! The ROCK likes to eat scones if you all didn't know.

Congrats also to the following retards who haven't scored a point:

Vinne, Spud, Uli, Terra and Toni...Even baby boomers like Preston and Rock are beating you. Be ashamed, be very ashamed.

Rant Over.

Big Dog

Smithy Leads

Rest Day

Hmm there appears to be a few gremlins in the standings, but the positions are ok.

Still plenty of time to catch Smithy, remembering he has used his double points. The next 5 or so stages are for the Sprinters, who has made some trades? Then we hit the Alps, with all the teams promising to take it up to Astana!!

Remember 9am AEST is trade cut off.

Cheers
TW

Announcement from Trevor: Elders Conceed

Ok guys. We conceed. Smithy has shown himself to be a magnificent tipster. I never realised how smart you needed to be to get a University Medal. I thought Mongo had 3 of them, and Daryl Brawthwaite had an honorary one. I was ignorant and wrong.

Smithy still leads our pathetic mini-league with his masterful picks through the Pyrénées, and is now sitting in 6th place overall with the big boys.

The massive tips he is giving his princess in exchange for his sponge baths at the moment, have now also helped her in to 2nd place in the mini-league, leap-frogging LBF (is it possible to leap-frog something so small).

The Elders are getting a bit nervous, even a broken down Skeletor is odds on to win the QUON again. Rumour has it a nude vote may be in the offing in the coming week to officially neutralise this years competition and give it by default to Smithy - it will enable planning for next year to begin for the massive job of usurping this giant of all things sporting and cerebal.

Trevor

[Full mini-league update still to come from the real Trevor when SBS site fully updates. ]

Jens inspires the QUON....again!

INSPIRATIONAL!!!

In the break for hours, fell back to the peleton like a busted arse. On his domestic duties to get biddons for his team, Schleck had a puncture and he had to drive hard to get him back in the peleton before the finish!

The man is a beast! Is it possible to have Jensi and a patron as well?

Team QUON's GP Patron Australian Mark Webber wins German Grand Prix

http://www.foxsports.com.au/story/0,8659,25771144-5018892,00.html

Congratulations from Team QUON.

Stage 5 results v todays results, bring on them mountains!

13 Eurosport is better Mr Paul Smith 533 533
45 LBFs Legion Mr Casey Guthrie 494 494
48 globules rouges Mr Wayne Spratford 491 491
217 Manager profile = Lame Ms Simone Dilkara 429 429
288 The Effin Seas Mr Adrian CRAFT 415 415
320 BUNGENDORE SINGLES CLUB Other SCOTTY PRESTON 410 410
348 Que Cera Cera Other Mc Diesel 404 404
493 Brookies Beauties Ms Brooke Niven 382 382
710 Piece of Pyes Mr Jason Pye 361 361
881 110RPM Mr Simon Johnson 346 346
1006 Randwicks Racers Mr Dom Aungles 335 335
1020 Mouldys Marauders Mr Cameron Boland 334 334
1453 team trailjayzer Mr Jay Reid 306 306
1458 Maillot Jaune Mayor Mr Shane Radnell 305 305
1702 A Firey Bunch of BLD's Mr Jeffrey Dau 290 290
1843 THE GTE EXPRESS Mr Stephen Terracini 283 283
1955 House Of Heroes Mr Scott Payne 278 278
1960 Who is Trevor Wallet? Mr Travis Hicks 277 277
1994 Morning Glories Mr Chris Wilson 276 276
2136 Wise Men and Baby J Mr Simon Thompson 271 271
2206 2 Hell & Back Mr Jayson Clarke 268 268
2230 Pimp my Team Mr Bruce Norton 267 267
2697 Ambo Mr Gav Godkin 249 249
2834 Go, Go, EPO Mr Jesse Featonby 243 243
2969 Bones Boulevardiers Mr Nathan Spillane 240 240
3198 Yetis Legends Mr Ian Mongan 231 231
4451 As and 9s Mr patrick Chivers 185 185
4444 Southern Ginga Mr Damian Boland 185 185
5769 Hammertime Kate Vandenberg 135 135
6137 QUONrejects Ian Barges 120 120
6611 Mrs Mongos Monsters Mrs Melissa Mongan 99 99
7486 Cuddles Mr Greg Hoitink 52 52

I love SPONGE BATHS by Paul Smith!

TDF Stage5 - I don't ride bikes Jayson!

Ok ok Smithy still leads, LBF is making his move with Wayneo holding on, or is it the start of a big SLIDE! Of the top3, KC looks to be in the best position with two trades to make.

The best of the Rest is Ms Simone Dilkara, otherwise known as Smups back up team! Her team like Mr Pizzles two teams has not used the bonus stage yet, how is that law suit going? At the moment these seem the likely teams to dethroning Smup at the top. BIGDOG and Preston have a fight on their hands (again), BIGDOG is on top at the moment with plenty of trades up his sleeve. Having said that he is not a cyclist (I don't ride bikes Jayson) and this ultimately might be his undoing.

The 250-350 pointers are joss ling to stay in the top 10, most everyone had a few of the following in their team last night - Cav, Farrar, Ciolek, Friere, Kruz. Only one more flat stage and we hit the Alps, who has trades in hand?

I love TOUR TIME.

CheersTW

SBS listens to Trevor Wallet

Thank Christ for this!!!

At 8:27am, Stage 5 has been updated, and now Mr Craft and Mr Pye can stop their complaining!

The rest of us can join in and celebrate July like Mr Preston.

All we need is Robbo and Mick Jagger to surface, and we will have a happy Team Quon.

No no no no no

Cav got it completely wrong.

Dodger has had to sacrifice a nights sleep to mentor his fellow Columbia-HTC team mates on the correct Barracuda salute.

Expect the full 18 hole salute from the boys across the line, when they dominate the Team Time Trial tonight.

Eurosport in charge, Globules consistent and LBF waiting to strike.

Smithy is now sitting 5th overall and in the running for 2k, which he
has promised to donate to the Christmas Shambles, he could be the
Greatest QM ever!! Wayneo was almost as concerned as Pysie yesterday,
but didn't jump and has reaped the benefits, he too has his eyes on the
2k. Now what's that little Little Black Fella been up to, watching the
Sopranos I think not, personally I think he's been sitting at the study
desk and might well have the pick of the teams.

Preston has somewhat justified his dropping of Cancellara for Hushovd,
lets face it we all want everyone in our teams, and sometimes it just
ain't going to work - how's that Scotty? BIGDOG is gaining some
momentum, but one would think as a non-cyclist ( I don't ride bikes
Jason) his time at the top won't last.

So who will be brave enough to trade Armstrong or Martin into their
teams in the hope of a yellow jersey, and who do you get rid of to get
them in? One needs to remember there is still two flat stages and a hill
top finish before the next allocation of trades.

http://fantasytdf.sbs.com.au/league.aspx?page=league&id=11037

Ohh and my team is up the shit
TW

Skating on thin ice

The QUON's 8 steps to happiness speaks of participation in QUON events. I have only just finished re-reading the rules and I am pretty confident that the steps needed to move from QUON Rookie a fully fledged Brother of the QUON means that participation in events; like the TDF tipping comp; would be a must for any QUONabee.


Robbo; you have previously been cautioned. Please help us locate your name in the TDF ranking? Benny says it is a trident friendly event, so please explain why you are too busy to get involved?


Matthew Shippa, whilst lyrca and bib and brace knicks may not feature on the mannequins in your cloths store, a rookie mistake is to miss this event. Speaking to your sponsor last night, he said to pull your socks up; Scotty rocks says pull your designer undies up; and Wayneo says f&*ck right off.



Jesse is now a friend, albeit a good friend of mine. Lately somethings changed, it ain't hard to define, Jesse is being a QUONer and that makes him alright! (for the moment). It is good to see you amongst us my friend!




To the brother of wombat, we love your banter, we love your contribution. You only have to convince your sponsor to back you in and put your name up, and who knows, in the eyes of the QUON, one day you may even step outside your brothers shadow!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

July is a wonderful month. If you can't get excited this time of year; piss off; the QUON does not want you!

The QUONtroversy starts

It would seem the SBS Tour competition is being run by an overseas provider (did someone say INDIAN). They appear to have no idea how to implement the competition rules, but don't fear boys as the QUON's very own Pizzle Pye is on top of things. Currently locked away in his office, he is conducting his own AUDIT on the results and hopes to update us with the real standings soon. There are two certainties though, BIGDOG won't be leading, and ROCKS won't have Cancellara.

Team QUON takes the HoT to the streets of Paris

Worst Shambles Ever Lands QM in Hospital!

The worst Shambles ever was completed with the current QM putting himself in hospital with a fracture dislocation of the ankle. QM Smuppy (pictured above just after the fall) proved beyond a doubt that storm water drains are for drainage and not for cycling. The rest of Team Quon wishes the QM a speedy recovery and convalescence in the Princess Castle.

Team QUON socks in Paris (dickheads)