QUON Master acceptance speech

'Released on-line by Popular Demand'

Building on the past for a stronger tomorrow

I would like to begin by paying my respects to the Ngnunawal people, the traditional custodians of this land where we are meeting upon today. On behalf of the traditional custodians and Brother Wallet, I welcome you all.

It is with great honour that I accept the QUON stewardship for 2010–11. I am humbled by the responsibility and look forward to directing the QUON into an exciting new era.

Tonight I will outline my vision for the year but firstly I would like to offer praise to my predecessors, Paul Smith and Jason Pye. Their lasting legacy has ensured team QUON has been dragged from the dark ages of the Mugabe years into a more enlightened prosperous era. Pyesie for his innovation and youth policy and Smithee for his indiscriminate unfair fines, the proceeds of which have yet to be actually seen but I’m sure will be revealed in the fullness of time.

I also acknowledge the tenacity and determination displayed by Brother Randwick when vying for the coveted position of QUON Master. Unfortunately for him the QUON was not ready for a pre pubescent teenager to take on the very important and adult role of leading the QUON. To Randwick I say ‘chin up champ’.

The QUON is at a fascinating stage of its life. We’ve grown organically from a team of five triathletes to a semi-professional outfit of more than 40 athletes in less than five years.

This growth has also seen us diversify. We now have a wide range of people from varying backgrounds including cycling, triathlon, running and in-line skiing. Our diversity means we have vastly different personalities, abilities, ages, occupations, interests, sexual preferences (some of us like blondes others prefer Indians) all under the banner of Team QUON.

While our diversity presents challenges it also makes us a more interesting and integrated team. However, as a team there are certain principles and priorities we need to observe to ensure the QUON brand remains an integrated formidable multi-sport presence it’s known for today.

Tonight, I will unveil a five point plan that I will oversee during my stewardship. The plan outlines my principles and priorities for the coming year. It will ensure we consolidate our success from previous years while ensuring we remain strong and agile to face the demands of tomorrow.

The first point in the plan is a focus on high performance. While we’re here to have a good time, going hard is our ultimate goal. We will build on our dominance of the past and take it to new heights of success not just in crit racing, but in road races, triathlon, running, burpees and dancing. By 2011, the brand of QUON will be seen as a strong force on the world stage, mentioned in the same breath as High Road or Garmin.

To achieve this priority, I will oversee the implementation of project Lactate. Project Lacate will provide incentives to race and train harder – no soft turns, no excuses just raw lactate. If you get dropped there’s no shame. The shame will only come if you gave up. Project Lactate will see the QUON transcend from a team of blokes having a good time to a legit to the max semi professional outfit. Boom!

I’ll release more details on project Lactate in the coming weeks.

The second point surrounds reward and recognition. For too long many of our achievements have largely gone unnoticed or uncared for. Who here, for example, remembers Smithy’s exceptional performance to become Australian Arboretum champion?
In line with this priority, I will implement the mandatory reporting of all significant races be they triathlon, cycling, running or in-line skiing. You will have one week to post a race report on the dribble. Together we will then praise you for a strong performance or collectively scorn you for a poor performance.

I will also consider the merits of using your report to promote the QUON in the media. Any individual success will always be attributed to Team QUON. If brothers Halvo and Kung Fu win medals at the Olympics, it will be because of team QUON. If Uber ever finishes Hawaii, it will be because of Team QUON. When Dominator finally mows his own lawn, it will be because of Team QUON.

Reward and recognition will also extend to recruitment of QUONabees. While we are quick to criticize sponsors for nominating dud QUONabees, conversely we need to recognise sponsors for putting forward quality applicants. This initiative aims to balance the risk averse culture and fear of having a beloved jersey go up in flames. Which reminds me, Pyesie and I will need to set up a time to burn his jersey.

The third point of the plan sees a blanket ban on pingers. Whether you’re a teenager looking for a quick hit or a 40+ year old man trying to be cool, pingers will not be tolerated at any QUON endorsed event. Pingers represent the greatest social and moral dilemma of our time. They ruin athletic ability and give us a false sense of our dancing abilities.

The fourth point applies to our flagship ride and my namesake, the Hour of Terra (HoT). Before I go into detail about this point, however, I’d like to remind a number of our brethren about wind. Wind is the flow of gases. It can range from a gentle breeze or it can form in large gusts. You can ‘feel’ wind at the top of a mountain or at the lowest valley.

You may even experience the sensation of wind at the front of a cycling bunch such as say the HoT. Contrary to many beliefs, wind is rarely fatal but it may dry your face just a little. This of course can be fixed with a little application of male moisturiser. Tonight I’d like to call on two of our more wind averse members in encouragement to experience the wonders of wind at the front of the bunch. Will and Uli please step forward to receive your wind protection lotion.

I encourage you to take this gift and hope that it gives you the strength to pull many strong and powerful turns at the front of the bunch.

Now, it’s with great delight that I unveil my fifth and final point. Tonight I can announce that I have appointed Brother Pyesie as the first ever Minister for Transport. The QUON is honoured and extremely fortunate to have this great innovator in our leadership ranks.

As the first order of business for the Minister for Transport, I have instructed him to arrange the supply of free bicycles to all QUON members. This won’t be an easy task but as the great man often says: ‘Innovate or die’.

I look forward to working closely with our new Minister for Transport.

Unfortunately, the Minister is unable to attend tonight’s gathering as he has been called to urgent business at Ken’s at Kensington, no doubt tending to his first priority of supplying our bikes.

Brothers, when I joined Team QUON many years ago I couldn’t have imagined we would be the envy of sporting teams everywhere. Who would’ve thought that we would have girls stalking us and men begging to be part of us. To belong to this team is a great privilege. Your being here means you’re not a dickhead at the very least.

My five point plan will take us to great heights. I urge you to board the blue train. Get your faces in the wind—use moisturiser if you need to. Close the book of shadows forever. Learn how to hurt and embrace the pain.

We won’t make it far if we’re a team of ‘if only’s’. If only I had of tapered better; if only I had more time to train; if only I had race wheels; if only I didn’t have the sniffles; if only I didn’t have sand in my man-gina. Excuses will not be tolerated. Tridents legs will be replaced by QUON legs—always willing to have a crack. Like the Dominator we’ll pull up our socks and have a go.

And when we race, we race for QUON. We’ll do what we’re told and we won’t chase personal victory. We’ll do it the QUON way—to the max.

Thank you.

The QUON reigns supreme

The QUON once again displayed its dominance in the hills of the Southern Highlands today with another powerful display of its mountain biking skills for another winter.

Our very own Minister for Passion Scott Preston took out the single speed category in a time of 2hrs 13 minutes. Scottyrocks was heard saying after the win that it was his socks that made him look so good out on the course. He even brought out some new attire for his first podium finish of the season.

Not far behind him was Brother Wallet in a blistering 2hrs 24mins. His exit from the carpark after the event was almost as quick.

Finally Brothers Skin & Bones & The Rock crossed the line together in 2hrs 50mins. Rumour has it that Skin & Bones wasn't going to let The Rock go over any water bars by himself in case any eye witness's were required to any more moments of madness. A chopper was kept on standby just in case but fortunately it was required.

Scottyrocks can be seen thanking his loyal supporters and the ladies of the township of Wingello Forest for coming out in the cold to support his endeavours.

"Well done Scotty"

Team QUON Moves Forward

Brothers, it’s been more than two months since I delivered my landmark 5 point plan that outlined my 12-month vision for Team QUON. For those who were in attendance I don’t need to remind you of the collective inspiration we all felt on that historic night.

Since this time I have been delighted to see Team QUON move forward from a timid and uncertain group of individuals to a stronger, more robust and confident outfit. A team that’s no longer afraid of wind and relishes the taste of lactate.

This has, without doubt, been the most magnificent start of any QUON master in the history of our great team. I am sure you would agree with me.

It is, however, a great shame that we still have many arm flappers in our midst. These people are the cancer of the QUON. They claim to have a stake in our team yet they rarely participate in any regular QUON event.

Many questions need to be asked about their commitment to our team. Where are these people during the hour of terra; where are these people during the Shambles; where were these people during the SOO1 night; where were these people during the great QUON challenge between Randwick and myself? So many questions.

These people know who they are. They’re the ones with the loud voices and flapping arms. The one’s with the mantra ‘somebody do something’. I will continue to question their dedication to our team. Make no mistake: I will out them and expose them for the phoneys they are.

But in the meantime we are moving forward and taking real action. Forward to greater prosperity.

Tonight my brothers I am pleased to present to you the QUON schedule of events for the year.


Brothers, brace yourselves for the greatest season the QUON has ever experienced. I encourage each of you to get involved and put every effort into our team. To those who aren’t on board, I give you this advice: start riding and stop flapping. See you on the bike.



QM

Gayvin's Song

Experience Counts

In the summer 1992 a young right-handed middle-order batsman with a 'classical' technique, known in particular for his elegant stroke making square of the wicket on the off-side and through the covers made his Test Match debut for Australia. Although he managed 59 in the first innings of a low scoring match in Sydney, it was his performance in the second innings which blighted his reputation for many years into the future. With Australia stumbling while chasing a small target of 117 against South Africa, he had trouble scoring, with an unconvincing 6 from 59 balls in almost two hours as he and Craig McDermott took the total from 8-75 to within sight of victory at 8-110. He then attempted an airborne cover-drive off Allan Donald and was caught, and Australia lost the Test. This “young bull” was heavily criticised by the media who blamed him for the defeat and was subsequently dropped from all National squads.

He wasn’t seen in Australian teams until the start of the millennium, by then selectors considered him an “Old Bull” and he rightfully replaced an injured Ricky Ponting on the tour to New Zealand. During this tour he went on to top the averages, subsequently scoring his maiden test century during the 2001 Ashes tour. This “Old Bull” became an integral part of Australia’s middle order for the next 6 seasons highlighted by nearly becoming the first Australian batsmen since “The Don” to make three centuries in three innings (he was dismissed for 97 in the third) and by winning the McGilvray Medal, ABC Cricketer of the year and the Alan Border Medal in 2005.

The moral to the story is (and we all know the story of the 2 bulls standing on the hill).......while we need “young bulls”, at the end of the day it is experience that counts and as history tells us, it will always be the “Old Bulls” that can be trusted to get the job done (and to keep their mouths shut at critical times).

PRESTON HAS PROVED HIS POINT

10 WEEKS SINCE TERRA WAS CROWNED OUR NEW QUON MASTER.

HE HAS DONE SHIT AND WE ARE JUST SITTING AROUND WAITING FOR A MIRACLE

WHO IS GOING TO SAVE US

LEFTY GOODMAN

Lefty Goodman could shear 200 sheep a day....every day......day in....day out.
Lefty Goodman was also a cyclist, who would cycle to the sheds every day, dressed in lycra, and then ride home after a tough 8 hours of shearing.....every day.
Lefty and his brother broke the record for cycling from Perth to Sydney, to raise money for charity, ( Lefty didn't shear sheep on those days. He was too busy riding from Perth to Sydney)
But, what makes the story of Lefty Goodman so sexy, is the Cherry Festival Cycle Classic, held in November back in the 80's. Lefty was the local favourite, even though the big hitters from Coota and Canberra were heading over for the race.
Lefty was off scratch, and with the strong westerly winds expected, the good money was on scratch catching the field and a bunch sprint down the main street to kick start the annual Cheery Festival Parade. The whole town lined the street 3 deep to witness the afternoons proceedings. It was a carnival atmosphere, and Lefty's victory was planned to begin a very memorable Cherry Festival Parade.

As predicted, scratch caught the field with 40 kilometers to go, and a large bunch rolled towards town, shelling young bulls at will.

The last significant climb was 5km from the finish, and that is where Lefty launched his attack. At the top of JD's packing shed, Lefty had a 500m gap to the rest of the field, and it looked like the victory was his.

The decent into the finish was fast, and the 600m flat sprint down the main street looked as if it would be a solo journey for Lefty.

I remember as Lefty turned right at the top of the town corner. Cabbage MacDonald, the announcer on the PA went nuts, and then the entire main street erupted with excitement as the local working class hero looked as if he had powered past the pro's from the city and would steal victory.

Lefty looked over his shoulder. No one was there. Lefty put his head down and continued down towards the town hall. Cabbage MacDonald foaming at the mouth. The crowd was going wild. With 400m to go, Lefty relaxed for the first time, sat up on the hoods of his bike and punched the air. The crowd went nuts.

Lefty thought that the crowd was going nuts because he was about to win the biggest race on the Young Cycling Calender. Lefty thought the crowd was going nuts for him.
Lefty was half correct.

As Lefty punched the air with 400m to go, 6 riders rounded the 'top of the town' corner. The crowd was saying to Lefty not to slow down. Cabbage was telling Lefty not to slow down. All Lefty could hear was hear was noise. His noise. And Lefty was going to enjoy the moment. His moment.

100m to go. Lefty punches the air again. The crowd yells for him to look behind him. Lefty doesn't understand the noise. Lefty blows a kiss to the ladies outside the Eastern Hotel.

The 6 chasers are going balls out. Catching with every pedal stroke. Lefty slows down. He thinks the race is in the bag. He forgets to look behind him. This is Lefty's moment. 10m to go. All Lefty can hear is noise. He does his jersey up. He raises both hands as he crosses the line. The crowd is deafening.

Two pedal strokes from the line of Lefty's biggest win in his career. Lefty's biggest sporting occasion in his life. His arms are raised.

The pack converged on Lefty directly on the finish line. Lefty didn't know they were coming. Lefty didn't know his position was under threat. Lefty was swamped on the line and was lucky to finish third. The main street went silent.






4 days later when Lefty sobered up, Cabbage MacDonald interviewed him of 2LF, the local radio station. Lefty was embarrassed and admitted he was caught up in the moment and lost the race infront of his family, friends and the entire town and district. He also told Cabbage that it was also the greatest moment in his life. "For that 598 meters" he said,"I was the king, and everyone who lined the main street, or was listening on the radio was 100% behind me and I loved the fact that they were cheering me on". He also told Cabbage that "most people don't experience that feeling. Young bulls sit on the fence and say 'what if', whilst the old bulls roll the dice and give it a crack".

Cheers Lefty, it was a great day for the old bulls!

Steve Prefontaine

Steve Prefontaine was/is/and will always be America's greatest middle and long distance runner. He not only inspired the worlds running boom in the 70's, but also inspired Bill Bowerman as to co-creator of nike and the nike swoosh, and also inspired Wayno Spratford on many pre-sunday morning long runs in deeks forrest.

Prefontaine was an aggressive runner, insisting on going out hard and not relinquishing leads. He was quoted as saying, "I am going to work so that it's a pure guts race. In the end, if it is, I'm the only one that can win it". A local celebrity, and of a similar cut to Mark Terracini, Prefontaine gained national attention and the hype leading up to the 1972 Munich Olympics.

Some say that Pre choked at those games. The slow first 2 miles meant that Pre had to take the lead and stop the Europeans famous 'kick'. He ran hard and he raced for a gold medal. As a result, he came in fourth. There is not a medal awarded for fourth place.

If he didn't die in a car crash in 1975, he would be regarded as an old bull.

HELP!

Well, Dom said it was only going to be a small job?????

Tri-Talking with Terra and Gav

What Do They All Have In Common?

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:
Exhibit C:

Answer:

They were all formerly deeply trusted by people who thought they were true friends and confidants, only to tretcherously turn around and backstab that trust in acts of pure betrayal. One has to ask, was Judas a Ginga as well???

Blog Controller needed

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The Quon is all but a rudderless ship.
Can someone please SAVE THE QUON