The Shambles is BACK......

And it aint ginga friendly.

Bring your A game,

We all know Randwick will!

2010 ORANA MOON POKER CLASSIC

Australia Day 2010 at Orana Moon was truly blessed with sensational summer weather, awesome kids, the WAGS of the QUON, cold beer and good times. As a QUON event, it wouldn’t be official if there wasn’t some element of QUONtraversey; and the multiple short cuts taken, the lap counter getting bored and opting for the shade and the full esky, and blind lust that the WAGS of the QUON have for the Rock ( the WAGS were the judges of the Skid Off), the QUONtroversy was rife

. As for the Single Speeders – we looked awesome, rode our bikes like style-cats, and smashed all the obstacles that stood in our way. There is no doubt that the Single Speeders dominated the racing. The Kids of the QUON stole the show however. Callum Hicks and his red Colnago, complete with red training wheels showed us all of the bling that living in Yarralumla requires. Luis and Miguel DaSilva showed us all that style is contained in your DNA, so too is the different beat that Charlie Spratford rolls with; attitude like that cannot be taught! Riley, Paige or Blake Rock didn’t fall once, infact the entire kids race seemed injury free despite a lot of close calls. The smiles were priceless and their energy should be bottled. QUONers and guests had to tackle 'Y&J' in the time trial to qualify for the handicapped cross country race which was to follow. The day started with Patty rubbing dirt on Uli’s wheels to welcome the style master and introduce his bike to the dirt. Marty was late (no surprise there) and Bigdog classically burnt a hole in his tire and tube by his exhaust on the way out. McFly showed us the text book in single speeding. He looked awesome with his long socks, baggy shorts and retro jersey; came complete with a pretty girl on his arm; and hit every obstacle and railed every berm. It was pretty to watch and an inspiration to us all. The cross country consisted of a 2, 3, 3.5 or 4 lap circuit depending on how much you winged or carried on. The course was marked poorly, however it added to the variety of the Orana Moon trails. Not that it affected Wayno’s sense of direction any – the guy has none and I am genuinely concerned about his ability to stay on the crit track every Wednesday night. The Rock railed every jump, bridge and obstacle that lay on the trail and showed no signs of weakness after his last effort on the dirt. Either that or the fact that he observed plenty of open paddocks on the way in, and realized that the Southcare Helicopter had heaps of landing options to take him back to Liverpool Hospital. Smuthy’s love child borrowed his Dads bike and did the entire day on a cyclo-cross bike. Randwick showed what A Grade miles can produce and despite a couple of falls, ended the day as a very happy adolescent.

Patty ceased a rear hub, sending him back to the rum tent early but stayed upright for most of the day, while Trevor played with his tire pressure, cleat position and helmet straps the entire duration of the race before pulling the pin early. He did manage some very sexy maneuvers in Wombat Gully and the ‘ol grey fox has still got plenty of style to demonstrate when he wants. Beer consumption greatly affected the SKID OFF with first time mountain biker Brad Davidson stealing the show with his big arms and side ways drift. As the dust settled on Uli’s black 4WD for the first time since it rolled from the show room, the cards were dealt and Andrew Hearne, from the South Coast Single Speed Chapter cleaned the table with 2 pair – Aces and Kings to win the day and the title of the 2010 Orana Moon Poker Champion. The Rock was the highest ranked QUONer, and the Junior event was won by McKensie Davidson.

The sun set to the sound of belly flopping men in the dam.
The beer was cold, and it was good.

A lesson for us all.

Ever since Bon Joxall passed away, it has become quite obvious that the QUON is lacking in the ability to count, the skill to apply conceptional reasoning to mathematical equations, and the team does not understand the definition of 'wing man'.
Please let me explain 3 integral qualities that belong in the QUON handbag.

THE ABILITY TO COUNT - if a QUON team has the most points at the end of the season, we win.

CONCEPTUAL REASONING - in order for a QUON team to get the most points at the end of a season, we have to devise complex strategies to ensure we maximise the points available to each rider in the team. These complex strategies may include not smashing the field before you have maxed out your available points in each grade that you find yourself in.

NEVER, EVER LEAVE YOUR WINGMAN - this was a mantra we learnt in Mirimar - Top gun School for the best of the best naval aviators going around. This can be dumbed down to " do what it takes to get the best result for the QUON". Bon Joxall is still there for us all in spirit. You just have to look deep into your heart, ( or call him on 0437 293 613 )

Greatness will come with the ability to count, and everyone knows, I love to count!

Things are the way things are for a reason...

Horse Trainers are Horse Trainers for a reason. They know the form of their horses, they know which races they should be racing in. Jockeys just ride the horses. Jockeys are told which race to ride what horse in for a reason. Jockeys don't decide to ride a horse in a race of their choosing because they feel they are too good for another particular race. Jockeys tow the line and do what they are told. Often this is for the greater good of the trainer which in turn makes things better for the jockey. Jockeys that don't tow the line find themselves without a trainer; no trainer equals no riding horses in the trainers colours.

The QUON needs points. Every QUONner is required to do their civic duty.
May GOD save the QUON.

Wednesday 20th January

QUONlo tonight

We all are fully aware that the QUON Stalker is in Adelaide washing Dodgers wheels, or whatever else he does for the QUON sports patron, but the question remains why is 75% of Team QUON M.I.A. tonight.
I understanding that Team QUON is currently a country mile infront of our nearest rivals in the CCC pointscore, but personally I would like to go 1, 2, 3.
Priorities gentlemen please!

QM

SuperCrit Thursday. Super cool.

Team QUON, came, saw, and got conquered by the Vikings (so, yes - the feud is still on). Big thanks to Shalan (not pictured) for the wheel loan.

Rumour also has it that Jamie has vowed to race nude if more than 5 QUON boys turn up on a Thursday.

If Jamie was a chick (see picture of Jamie P from My Name's Earl) rather than a dude (unfortunatley he actually looks more like the fat brother from the same show) then we would be all over it.

PS - Any QUONners who turn up next week are simply curious. (except Mouldy)

Is this the 'new breed'?

If so, I am sticking with the 'old breed'. I want to win this year

The old man of the road to wear PINK

The complexities of sport don't consider the stupid hours it takes to run Queanbeyan's biggest entertainment venue. Nor does it take into account the hours spent on the road driving between butt-fuc*ville and that place of ill repute. Sport doesn't give two hoots about a leaky roof, 2 children, a marriage, 4 dogs and some single trail out the back of nowhere.

The old man of the road, packed up his banjo, 10 minutes after the start of B grade last night, and turned for home for that long lonely journey back to the sticks.

Whilst he looked very Euro last night, he will look much better in pink!

Team QUON Classifieds

For sale: Single floor stand speaker. Handmade in Europe. Recently damaged when crash tackled by unassuming and intoxicated party-goer who mistook the speaker for a tackle-bag at a recent and exclusive party for Canberra's cycling elite. Purchase now to ensure disappointment.

Call Pothole to arrange free delivery. Owner willing to consider swap for Cervelo S2 frameset.

BigDog runs out of bait, loses relevance.

Life moves pretty fast; so grab it with both hands!

But as I only have baby sized hands, most of life just passes me by!

Top 10 Style Tips by Br. Euro

OK. The new kit has arrived on schedule for the start of 2010. Here are the top ten style from Br Euro to keep you looking stylish.

1. Image and style shall be your primary concern.

2. The socks shall extend no less than 2cm below the calf muscle.

3. Cycling shoes shall be white in colour only.

4. Ridiculous eye wear shall be worn.

5. A prominent line wear your kit ends and your tan begins is essential.

6. The seat and handlebar tape shall be white.

7. The legs must be hair free all year round (waxing is preferred but shaving is acceptable).

8. Campagnolo is the accepted componentry and is deemed superior than any Shimano product.

9. Coffee is a neccesity and must be consumed strong (short black is best but piccolo latte are OK).

10. When appearing in photo shoots, highlight your sponsors on your kit.

Antarctic Barracuda from the QUADfather