QUONNERS TAKE HEED:
We now know how to win the Canberra Tour!
We now know how to win the Canberra Tour!
Is it the person with the best coach? The person who trains the hardest? The person who is naturally good at climbing?
All wrong.
To win the Canberra Tour one must come up with the best excuses!
“No I can’t ride in my usual grade – put me down two grades to E because I have had a kid”
“No I disagree with your decision to put me in my normal grade, I am 5-7 kg heavier than last year.”
“No please put me back in E grade, I am less fit than this time last year and the Canberra Tour is a climber’s race and I’m not a climber.”
“I feel that E grade is the right grade for me and I am not attempting to burgle. I came 31st out of 51 last year in D1”.
All of the above are great lines to use to hoodwink your way into a lower grade.
QUONNERS TAKE NOTE THOUGH:
Try not to do what less intelligent riders do when they are pulling the wool over the eyes of the race officials.
Such acts of stupidity include winning stages and finishing 2nd overall behind your team mate after using some of the above excuses. This is a poor way to repay the race organisers who yielded to your pathetic whining and let you ride two grades lower than you should have.
Volunteers generally do not love to field a barrage of complaints from the other unfortunate genuine E grade competitors who have had to put up with the most blatant act of burglary in recent Canberra Tour history. This is a big mistake to make and will ruin your future riding career in lower grades. This is a great alternate way though to fistf@*k an official.
So now that we know the ins and outs of how to win a Canberra Tour by utilising sooking, whinging and lame excuses, we should reflect on the following picture to inspire us in our approach to next years race:
Good luck to all next years burglars!
All wrong.
To win the Canberra Tour one must come up with the best excuses!
“No I can’t ride in my usual grade – put me down two grades to E because I have had a kid”
“No I disagree with your decision to put me in my normal grade, I am 5-7 kg heavier than last year.”
“No please put me back in E grade, I am less fit than this time last year and the Canberra Tour is a climber’s race and I’m not a climber.”
“I feel that E grade is the right grade for me and I am not attempting to burgle. I came 31st out of 51 last year in D1”.
All of the above are great lines to use to hoodwink your way into a lower grade.
QUONNERS TAKE NOTE THOUGH:
Try not to do what less intelligent riders do when they are pulling the wool over the eyes of the race officials.
Such acts of stupidity include winning stages and finishing 2nd overall behind your team mate after using some of the above excuses. This is a poor way to repay the race organisers who yielded to your pathetic whining and let you ride two grades lower than you should have.
Volunteers generally do not love to field a barrage of complaints from the other unfortunate genuine E grade competitors who have had to put up with the most blatant act of burglary in recent Canberra Tour history. This is a big mistake to make and will ruin your future riding career in lower grades. This is a great alternate way though to fistf@*k an official.
So now that we know the ins and outs of how to win a Canberra Tour by utilising sooking, whinging and lame excuses, we should reflect on the following picture to inspire us in our approach to next years race:
Good luck to all next years burglars!
15 comments:
There is absolutely no way that was a vikings rider. Our morals are much higher than that. Probably a rider from kings cross.
Dear Author, Spend less time sooking, more time riding.
These posts annoy me and are not endorsed by all of the QUON.
Any rider to burgle their way to victory is inspirational in my eyes, as we have been trying to work out the system for years.
Well done to the winner of E Grade.
done the CT 6 times in B and C grades. The CT has a long and unprestigious history of burgling. It's a running joke around the place. Never checked. While there's no actual national grading system this will go on forever. your best bet is to enter a grade or two below what you should be in to have a half a chance. there's a dozen or so of our guys that do this every year and the sand bagging is getting worse. CT grading = JOKE.
all the sour grapes in a abag to the left.
thanks for the link Stu! (this blog is doing the rounds in the big smoke hill billies)
BAAAHAHAAHAAA
I shaved my balls for this??
Geez we are a bunch of turds.
I can feel a major crash of our blog about to occur. This story might accidentally get deleted. Velo - make sure you keep a copy of it. It makes you guys look good in comparison.
Sounds like whining and sooking are the same tactics required to lose the tour. Boohoo!
Wow. You've changed QUON. Less whinging, more lions licking themselves please.
side effects include watery eyes, memory loss and huge spikes in estrogen levels
thank christ someone's taken the bitching tag away from us.
if I existed I'd say "open F grade, pfffft, what are we - vets". I'd also wouldn't allow rider/s who ride C grade ToB drop two or three grades for CT.
you'd also do you research to know that ToB only goes to C grade so thats not necessarily peoples correct grade anyway.
you all need to stop whining, start training and teach them a lesson on the road
You guys really are a mob of wankers
Hey!
Come on guy's!
I was just trying to fit in.
My friend, the Dedicated Cyclist, here for the long haul said to me you were a bunch of loud-mouth good for nothing neanderthals with no jobs, no bike skills and no brains. He was right. You are one big joke. I don't care if you've got fancy la di da wine palates or the latest in fake colnago crap technology. You prats ruin cyling for all of us genuine cyclists that try our best to manage kids, obesity, bad weather and fast-paced, low paying public service jobs.
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