McAlpha

On behalf of Team QUON, we would like to wish our solo 'A' Grade hitter Ben McPowderPuff good luck this weekend as he flies the flag for TQ. We expect big things from the local 'C' grade Canberra Crit rider, which shows the unbelievable depth of the local criterium scene.

Big hitters edition of the HoT (TM)

Arguably one of Australia's toughest training rides, the HoT (TM) is set to ignite on Friday morning with the likes of Green Edge, Rabobank and Team Sky being in town for this week's special addition.

The big questions:

- Will Robbie McEwen attend to show his sprint prowess?

- Will Michael Matthews toy with the rest of the euro pro's as he did in last weekend's NSW Cycling Grand Prix

- Will Michael Rogers ride off the front and never be seen again?

- Will Green Edge even show?

All of these questions and more will be answered on Friday morning.

Attention all QUONers

Please refer to the Dribble as soon as possible to cast your votes to this QUONtroversial topic of discussion. Please be sure to do so by 5pm Friday the 25th of November when the votes will be tallied and the decision made as to where we will be post Shambles(TM) on Saturday.

A QUON Rookie's Experiment with Poetry

-an epic, unbelievable adventure in two parts (revised)-

A medley of prose
This is just the beginning
Wait 'til I warm up...

QUONlo is our home
As all around new growth blooms
We will DOMinate

We invented Crits
Invented the bicycle
Invented the wheel...

Yes we take the piss;
Hyperbolic reactions
Make us Laugh Out Loud

We ride with passion
And live our lives the same way
Unbelievable

We all love to ride
Racing gets the blood pumping
You know you're alive

When red mist decends
Remember the stakes involved
Let's keep it upright

Rubbin' is racin'
Get it sorted on the track
Then lets have a beer...


QUON Rookie am I
Haiku has been forbidden
Oops what have I done?

To mangle Bader
'Rules - Obedience of fools,
Guidance of wise men'

'Stick it to da man!'
Embodies the QUON spirit
Suck it up, Princess

-to be continued-

Major Sponsor hanging on by a thread

After what some have described it as a QUONtroversial week, Team QUON's Major Sponsor Raine&Horne Commercial Canberra is reassessing it's annual multi-million dollar sponsorship allocation spend with Canberra's (and arguably the worlds) greatest cycling team.

In an interview earlier today R&H's owner Franky M said that he was concerned about his clients and their thoughts about his affiliation with the QUON.

"Who would've thought that Team QUON drank beer? They had such a crystal clear reputation too. I'm so worried about my clients. I thought they were a group of bible lovers that had the occasional vino and camembert... Maybe next season I will look to sponsor the Vikings Cycling Club or other teams such as Ollo Industries? What about my clients?"

Unbelievable.

BTB, that was probably the worst rhyme ever...

Shooter: "Just stay out of my way, or you'll pay, LISTEN to what I say".

Happy: "Why don't I just go eat some hay. make things out of clay, lay by the bay? I just may. What do ya say?"

Loving all

Whether it is taking the piss or drinking the piss
team QUON is the one to Follow.
If it wasn't for Vello or ollo there wouldn't be any
Muppets to Follow.
Wensday is our day of Love so lets keep it fun.
Its not about what sort of race wheels you run or
place you come, or even the Hair gel you wear
as long as we play fair.
At the end of the day people might think the QUON is gay,
time to let Halvo out to play.
Quontraversal you may say,

Loves youse all have a nice day.

TEAM QUON unbelievable

Team QUON absolutely dominated the Team QUON Road Race World Championships ™ today. A brilliant cycling/cross-fit inspired format that Canberra Cycling Club officials would do well to copy.

The big hitters of Team QUON finished in the first 20 places. No other riders finished the final climb up L’Alpe de Rouge except for Team QUON riders.

No Team QUON riders chopped anyone off, or crashed or threw any water bottles. Some cheated, and some burgled, but what can you do.

Team QUON then ate and drank in a socially inclusive and friendly manner in Deakin you know, except for Trevor who was cranky. The coffees came quick. Relatively few beers were consumed.

The sponsor rode and was happy.

Team QUON once again saved Canberra Cycling.

Unbelievable.

It's a walk off

Hi it’s Uliander here and Wow!

What an amazing amount of QUONtravery.

There hasn’t been this much cat fighting and bitching since me and Wilansel had our famous hissey fit in Zoolander. After much discussion between me and my mirror this morning I think the only way to settle this dispute is a walk off. It’s obvious I’ll walk right over Wilansel but it’s the only way of getting him out of this mess. I have the most beautiful carbon fibre bike, beautifully pressed white knicks, a tanned complexion and round the clock 5 o’clock shadow.

Let’s make it tomorrow at noon at the usual place. You know right behind the toilet block at Yarramundi Reach. That way I’ll have time to visit my solarium and have my chest wax.

See you there or be square.

If we are such massive hubbards and nobody likes us....

Then why are you reading our Blog (if we had one)?

What have we become?

I never thought I'd see the day. Hopefully we will now see a resumption of TQ's normal piss taking, light hearted banter. We definitely do not want to make Baby J cry.

Team QUON would like to thank ollo for their interest in our blog. We love riding with you guys and thank you for pulling turns at the HoT.
 
Whilst many of us work hard at trying to improve our riding some of the blog readers may find it more productive to focus their efforts on   improving their sense of humor.
 
We would also like to add that the reference to the ollo logo looking like a dick and 2 balls is very funny but it wasn’t a QUONer that coined the tag.
 
Keep training hard everyone and if you want to read to blog make sure your sense of humor is in check.
 
Hook line and sinker.

36 Sleeps till the best day of the year

Christmas Shambles 2011 is looming and already has the makings of the best ever. The organising committee decided, the blueprint has been drawn, the date has been confirmed. Put Saturday 17th December in your diaries, iPhones or BlackBerrys. More details will be confirmed in the coming weeks.

Enough is enough...

The book is full gentlemen. Get off your fat arses, shave those legs, squeeze into your lycra, and get out to tomorrow's ShamblesTM. 7am Ghost Ride Shop as always.

The Shoe Salesman is Back

Al Bundy would be so proud. Strongest shoe salesman ever.

Hats off to the QM

You manned up, wore the shit kit and attacked like a mad man. Unbelievable.

Who does that?

Earlier today, Adrian Craft posted this status on his Facebook. As for the status itself most QUON will agree he was a magnificent boxer, and may he RIP. What we would like you to note, is that Br Big Dog was so proud of himself that he decided to like his own comment. Which begs the question: 'Who does that?' Good one Adraan.

QM just keeping an eye on Uncle Halvo

Photo: The last straw for Harry Halverson.

Although it appears nobody is game to look QM in the eyes, Uncle Halvo has bit the bullet and put his rep on the line. The coffee shop drama of 2011 has finally been spoken about like real men, face to face at the QUON Elders meeting last week. The outcome of this meeting (although confidential) will be announced shortly. Stay tuned gentlemen.

Well done to a possible QUONabee

A special mention must be given to a certain possible QUON Rookie who rode many snot bubbles out at last nights Crit. Liam, who is yet to be appropriately nicknamed, will be forever known as the ONLY cyclist in history to be promoted after coming dead last in a race.

After attacking/blowing/attacking/blowing etc on many occasions as per race directions, the CCC race handicapper made an executive decision to 'lift' Liam into B grade for the rest of the Crit series - even though he came dead last.

Well done Liam - that is a true QUON thing to do. Score no points in the grade you were supposed to burgle, and then get promoted. Unbelievable.

Learning to Count

For those having trouble with simple arithmetic, the QM will be holding simple counting classes for the rest of the year. If you aren't sure how many laps there are to go after you have completed the second last lap of your race, this maths class is just for you!

Team QUON Road Race World Championships

The time has been decided upon, and a new champion will be crowned Saturday November 19. RSVP to the Beagle via the Dribble to ensure you get a place in this world prestigious event. The crowds will be going wild, and the beers will be flowing. More details to come shortly.

Weigh in results

The final weigh-in was held at last Wednesdays crit and there was some mixed results.

Mouldy was confident of taking out max points after not eating for 3 days prior to the last weigh-in. However it was McDuff that stole the show with an 8.71% weight loss. Mouldy was a close 2nd with 7.82% loss and Rock in 3rd with 7.61% loss.

We only had 2 that put on weight with Smithy gaining 6.09% and Randwick 5.17%.

Dominator and Ambo didn't gain or lose even 1 gram.

I've also updated the QUON Master point score. Randwick and Halvo are equal leaders with Rock moving into 3rd place.

The next point scoring event is the QUON Road Race Championships.

QM