And we are racing at Randwick

Mums and Dads, lock your daughters up.

This man (to the right) is single and looking for love. His perfectly sculpted physique has been hand crafted by coach Benny and he is ready to take your daughter to the Horse Stable for good breaking in lesson.

Please call 0422 440 114 if you want to organise a meet and greet. The Jockey is ready to ride.

Be sure to get in quick before the gates close on your opportunity at Jockey love.

Spud and Almighty - Stand Up For Your Team!

Vikings Chicks flew in from their Nordic homes on Wednesday night to rape, pillage, and plunder. The big question is what are Spud and Almighty doing about it? NOTHING!

Boys, don't make us unleash the Mongo beast - because then these girls will never come back to you.

Lance wins the Tour Down Under

Lance Armstrong has been awarded the overall win in the 2009 Tour Down Under. Race organisers have apologised for the confusion.
Event Director, Micheal Turter made the announcement after he was surfing Lance Armstrong's 'twitter' site, looking at Lance's new bike pictures. It was on twitter, that Lances spreadsheet was discovered. As the Quon now understand, if it is on a spreadsheet - it is fact!
Event organisers for the tour of California, Itallia Giro and the Tour de France have been duly notified of his spreadsheet, and that Lance will win these stage races in 2009.
Mr Turter stressed that this is a reason that all budding cycling stars should remain at school and major in computing and math studies. Turter himself, left school at 15yrs to pursue a career in cycling, and blames this as the reason his ability to understand complex spreadsheets is poor.
The Quons own Nathan Spillane, who is the leading web-based designer for I-SKILL Consulting is currently designing some on-line learning packages for cyclists of all ages to be able to access and understand spreadsheets.
The Quon is at the cutting edge of all things cycling, and this is another example of this.

Thank you Quon.

LANCE ARMSTRONG 2009 SPREADSHEET
January 2009; Win the Tour Down Under
March 2009; Win the Tour of California
May 2009; Win the Itallia Giro
July 2009; Win the Tour de France

Uber Ginga's Training Tip #4 - The Strudel Doodle

Strudel doodle is one of the most frustrating and uncomfortable conditions a male cyclist must endure while riding.

As the name suggests, strudel doodle occurs when a man feels as if his downstairs’ package is being wrapped up and baked like a French pastry while riding.

Strudel doodle affects males of all shapes and sizes—whether they’re blessed with a large cannon or have to make do with a diminutive frankfurter, all male cyclists will inevitably suffer the irritating affects of strudel doodle during a ride.

The good news is that there are some highly effective preventative measures you can adopt to prevent the strudel forming in the pants. Here’s how:

Pack the Vas—besides making you feel nice downstairs, liberal helpings of Vaseline in the groin region will help your doodle move freely without constraint. Be careful though: using too much Vaseline will make you feel like you’ve got an excited eel in your pants.

Choose your knicks carefully—when buying your knicks, make sure they’re doodle friendly and allow you to easily adjust your package while riding. High cut bib and brace knicks should be avoided as they make hand entry particularly difficult when you need to unwrap a forming strudel. Fashion note: non bib and brace knicks are a fashion faux pas and should be avoided at all costs. Leave them to the triathletes.

Tame the angry beast—in extreme cases of strudel doodle, it’s possible to strap your manhood to your thigh with a garter or a piece of rope. If you experience a strudel doodle on a long ride, a spare inner tube can also do the trick. Of course this option is only available for the gentlemen who are generously endowed.

Follow these three steps and you should continue to enjoy your long rides without the uncomfortable pastry in the pants.

Of course, lady cyclists aren’t immune to the discomfort of irritating groin conditions. Repetitive pedalling can lead to serious inflammation and soreness—a condition commonly known as ‘muffin in the oven’. In my next article I’ll offer some handy tips for the ladies to put out that fire.

2 pairs, a scunned elbow and a sore head!

Patrick Chivers is banned from all casino's in the State of Nevada for his ability to count cards. His mathematical ability did not let him down at Orana Moon on Sunday, winning the 2009 Poker Run with a 2 pairs/ace high. The was no doubt that his superior card skills tipped the odds in his favour when the business end of the day began.

It is lucky that Patty can play cards.

His ability to stay upright was poor. His understanding of what constitutes a longneck is lame. However his abilty to execute the 'stunt-roll' at the drop of a hat should be commended, and his showed off these skills a number of times during the day!

There were tears, fire, nudity, pretty ladies, big sky, a million stars and cold beer!

The Holy QUON at WAR

To Intelligence Community and the cycling community at large:

On the morning of January 23 the Government of the Federal Republic of the Ginga, pursuing its course of world conquest, declared war against the Holy QUON.

The long-known and the long-expected has thus taken place. The forces endeavoring to enslave the Holy QUON now are moving toward this hemisphere.

Never before has there been a greater challenge to life, liberty, civilization and our money.
Delay invites great danger. Rapid and united effort by all of the bretheren of the Holy QUON who are determined to remain free will insure a world victory of the forces of justice and of righteousness over the forces of savagery and of barbarism.

The QUON Stalker (TM) also has declared war against the the Holy QUON.

I therefore request the QUON Master to recognize a state of war between the the Holy QUON and the Federal Republic of the Ginga, and between the Holy QUON and the QUON Stalker (TM).

Here you see the brave Bretheren of the Holy QUON training in their shiny new battle suits. They have lots of titanium in them. So does my Lightspeed. Do you ride a Lightspeed?

Lightspeed Dave, the Holy QUON Minister for Defence and Discipline.

I am back

I have missed you all.

love bigdog

reflections

As the sun set, I closed my eyes and reflected on what I could of done better......
.......and then I thought some more................................................

SPONSOR PULLS FUNDS

Ian 'hats off' Mongan has had his lucrative bike and incentive based sponsorship arrangement pulled from beneath him earlier today by one of Canberra's leading bike retailers. Onya Bike Belconen and Civic has reviewed the performance of all signed athletes in this mornings breakfast meeting, and after 2 weeks of piss poor riding and failing to finish both races, Ian was let go buy the bicycle warehouse.

"You can't promote our brands when sitting in the stands!" was the answer given by Micko when questioned over the decision. "Our bikes go better when they are ridden, and if our athletes would prefer to drink beer and make excuses rather than ride our bikes, we are happy to oblige!"

Ian was not available for comment today, however, our sources tell me he was seen in a clock shop late last night looking for a suitable time piece.

WTF?

Laying it on the Line

Last night at QUONLO saw Team QUON step up to another level. B grade were inspirational with six riders in the top 10.
C Grade played their cards perfectly and ensured that riders are not maxing out till they get top points.
A Grader’s (with a lot of help from Stu and Jeremy) drove the chasing bunch.

There was one man last night in C Grade wh

o laid it all on the line. He buried himself so badly that he nearly had to call his Ambo mates to help him out.

His name is Gary Codkin. A picture says a thousand words.

Randwick found!

In a top secret raid on the freezer of a certain Manuka Milk Bar, SGT BIGDOG has managed to track down the evasive Gaytime, aka, Randwick. Although it was originally believed that Randwick was off training with his triathlon poof mates, BIGDOG has been able to reveal that Randwick was in fact hiding in the freezer the whole time.

Upon thawing out, Randwick muttered: "Woah! now I know how Han Solo felt in Return of the Jedi, when Princess Leia, disguised as a bounty hunter, set him free. Now that I'm all thawed out and no longer having a Gaytime, I can get back on the bike and ride, where it counts, for the QUON. That's what I signed up for!"

Well done Br Randwick, and welcome back. We do look forward to seeing you ride with the wind in your hair tonight, on this wonderful day of LOVE.

DAY OF THE PIG?

Wednesday WILL be a great day for the QUON

a very happy B grader identified at start line - looks more like a very fat B grader to me

Cmon Boys

Lets not go down this path..........

The Pineapple

The last time that a pineapple caught my attention, or at least held my attention for a decent length of time was about 3 years ago when I was passing through Coffs Harbour. I was with my family, and not only did the Big Pineapple tourist Park provide a 'wee' break and clean toilets for mum, but also gave us kids a break from Dads truck driving cassettes. As we wondered through the inside of the Worlds Biggest Pineapple, looking at how, where and why the fruit is grown, I was struck with a strange thought............"what would I look like with shaved nuts ?"
Since that day, pineapples have had little reason to enter my thoughts.

Randwick - you better turn up and ride next Wednesday!

Belinda says thank you!

Dear Paul Smith,
My daughter Belinda, and all of her family, would like to say a huge thank you to you for your courage and understanding!
You generosity in giving up your hospital bed after your horrific crash with an Alpine Mouse whilst training up Corin Mountain has allowed Belinda to receive the treatment she so desperately needed. We have been waiting for a bed to come available for months, and your selflessness has allowed her to be treated and hopefully lead a full adult life.
I hope that you are recovering well, and that your loved ones, brethren and training buddies are sympathetic to your needs and are nursing you back to good health.
Good luck and thanks,

Belinda's mum.

Paul Smith spotted at gym; won't be taking any crap from any more wallabies

Disco fever hits the boys in blue

Scottyrocks says 2009 is the time for the QUON to shine.

..........but I say; lets dance!!!!

Happy 40th Birthday Scottyrocks

Guess who turns 40 today?

Happy birthday to Scott William Preston, Quon Order of Australia Medallist