Uber Ginga's Training Tip #4 - The Strudel Doodle

Strudel doodle is one of the most frustrating and uncomfortable conditions a male cyclist must endure while riding.

As the name suggests, strudel doodle occurs when a man feels as if his downstairs’ package is being wrapped up and baked like a French pastry while riding.

Strudel doodle affects males of all shapes and sizes—whether they’re blessed with a large cannon or have to make do with a diminutive frankfurter, all male cyclists will inevitably suffer the irritating affects of strudel doodle during a ride.

The good news is that there are some highly effective preventative measures you can adopt to prevent the strudel forming in the pants. Here’s how:

Pack the Vas—besides making you feel nice downstairs, liberal helpings of Vaseline in the groin region will help your doodle move freely without constraint. Be careful though: using too much Vaseline will make you feel like you’ve got an excited eel in your pants.

Choose your knicks carefully—when buying your knicks, make sure they’re doodle friendly and allow you to easily adjust your package while riding. High cut bib and brace knicks should be avoided as they make hand entry particularly difficult when you need to unwrap a forming strudel. Fashion note: non bib and brace knicks are a fashion faux pas and should be avoided at all costs. Leave them to the triathletes.

Tame the angry beast—in extreme cases of strudel doodle, it’s possible to strap your manhood to your thigh with a garter or a piece of rope. If you experience a strudel doodle on a long ride, a spare inner tube can also do the trick. Of course this option is only available for the gentlemen who are generously endowed.

Follow these three steps and you should continue to enjoy your long rides without the uncomfortable pastry in the pants.

Of course, lady cyclists aren’t immune to the discomfort of irritating groin conditions. Repetitive pedalling can lead to serious inflammation and soreness—a condition commonly known as ‘muffin in the oven’. In my next article I’ll offer some handy tips for the ladies to put out that fire.